Ellen's Yoga Journey

Days 12 & 13 of 101

2011-02-13T18:05:00.004-10:00

Saturday 2/12/11
4:30 pm w/ Chelsea

Sunday 2/13/11
4:30 pm w/ Stefan

Well the 4:30 pm classes tend to be A LOT hotter than the 6:30 am. Today I had THE hottest class I've taken since I moved to SD. Wowzers. People were dropping like flies and leaving the room right and left. I knew we were in trouble when I began to feel nauseous during the backbending part of Half Moon and Hands to Feet pose. I hung in there but was seriously hurting by the time we hit the floor. I was not able to hold all the postures for the full time and even sat out 1 set of Camel and Rabbit. Still a good class. Feel like I REALLY worked and stirred some stuff up. Nothing like a good, hot ass-kicker to make you feel like a beginner again.

Back to AM class tomorrow. Still wish it was hotter in the morning. I will probably say something to the owner when I take her class on Friday if it's still not feeling so hot.

Days 8, 9, 10, 11, & 12 of 101

2011-02-11T18:39:00.002-10:00

Monday 2/7/11
6:30 am w/ Chelsea

Tuesday 2/8/11
6:30 am w/ Kim

WEdnesday 2/9/11
6:30 am w/ Sophie

Thursday 2/10/11
6:30 am w/ Ray

Friday 2/11/11
6:30 am w/ Toni

I have been crazy busy and haven't had much time to blog. But I am pretty much feeling like a rockstar because I did the 6:30 am class every day this week!!! For the weekend I will probably go back to 4:30 pm to give myself the opportunity to sleep in and fart around in the morning. My knee is still hurting a bit - but I am determined to work through it. So far, so good. I am really glad that I am doing this.

Day 5,6 & 7 of 101

2011-02-06T19:43:00.003-10:00

Friday 2/4/11
4:30 pm w/ Ray

Saturday 2/5/11
4:30 pm w/ Heather

Saturday 2/6/11
4:30 pm w/ Heather

Well... The last few classes have finally felt hot enough. I think that maybe it is just really hard to get the temp up high enough first thing in the AM. I am going to try to hit the 6:30 am Mon-Fri this week so we shall see. Got a knee brace today that I am going to wear during my non-yoga hours and already it seems to be helping from having it on for just half of the day. I think that especially right after yoga when my knee is all warmed up and loosey juicy is the time I probably need the extra support the most.

Day 3 & 4 of 101

2011-02-03T19:03:00.003-10:00

Wednesday
6:30 pm w/ Eeva

Thursday
6:30 am w/ Ray

Still going strong. My knee continues to bug me a bit but feels much better than it did a couple days ago. Down 3 lbs in 3 days. YAY! ;))

Day 2 of 101

2011-02-01T07:38:00.004-10:00

Tuesday 2/1/11
Bikram Kearny Mesa
6:30 am w/ Eeva

Decent class. Still not very hot, but maybe that's just a morning thing. Tweaked my knee a bit in triangle, hopefully nothing major.

I am once again realizing just how good/intense/inspiring my teachers back in Hawaii were and how much they pushed me. Or am I just getting that much better? Seriously doubt that. Maybe after this challenge is over I will check out the studio on Hancock Street. It's supposed to be the hottest and most hardcore studio in San Diego. For now I am fine with cruising a little bit. ;))

Day 1 of 101

2011-01-31T07:07:00.004-10:00

Monday 1/31/11
Bikram Kearny Mesa
6:30 am w/ Kim

OK. So that cold was hanging on a bit longer than I expected. Or maybe I was just making excuses. Regardless. The 101 Day Bikram Challenge starts today!!

Good class. Not very hot and I'm not quite as flexible first thing in the morning anyway - so I wasn't able to get as deep into many of the postures as usual. But solid practice, especially after 3+ weeks of no yoga at all. I am actually amazed that I hadn't regressed much at all and very excited to see where the next 14 weeks and 3 days take me.

My mantra during savasana is, "Release everything unnecessary." And I must have stirred up something becasue when I got home I began to get the blurry vision that usually means a migraine is coming. I took some Aleve and burned some sage and took a few minutes to relax while I drank my coffee. What do you know it is gone already. Cool. Now it's time to jump in the shower and head to work.

Wishing everyone a fantastic Monday!

Aloha & Namaste,
Ellen

Biting the bullet and going for 101

2011-01-16T17:02:00.006-10:00

Well, 2010 is over. And it seems that it was a bit of a rough one. I knew that the move wouldn't be easy, but I guess I didn't take into account how hard it would be to completely uproot my whole life like that. Finding a steady job, adjusting to living with my crazy mom, figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life, and getting into a new yoga routine - all of that was far more difficult than I bargained for. But just a bit over a year later and I think that *maybe* I have finally hit my stride...

So my original plan was to get a job (any job) at Scripps Healthcare so that I could take advantage of priority admission for their employees to the Grossmont Nursing program. I applied for every job posting that seemed I was remotely qualified for - but it just wasn't happening. I took several temporary/promotional type sales jobs just to have some income in the meantime and by July I was pretty much demoralized. That's when I started researching other options and accidentally came across a relatively new flex-time Doctor of Physical Therapy program in San Marcos.

It's hard to explain but it was as if a light-bulb clicked on. I had always had sort of a cursory interest in PT but wrote it off thinking that my grades weren't good enough, it was too expensive, there wasn't a program in San Diego, blah, blah, blah. But with this option I saw hope because it would totally be possible to work during the first couple of years of the program. Yes - there are more pre-requisites, so it's going to be a long haul. But this resonates with me so much truer than nursing ever did.

They say that when you truly decide on something then things just fall into place. And that's what happened to me. Within a month I had found a 3/4 time position doing outreach & marketing for a PT clinic in La Jolla. Right around the same time the non-profit I used to work for in Hawaii contacted me about doing contract work for them - basically running one of their programs long distance. The funding for the non-profit contract didn't come through in the Fall but thanks to my job being flexible and not full time, I was able to go through a 200 hour training as a Yoga Instructor & Somatic Movement Therapist through the Natural Healing Institute. Long term I think that I want to incorporate physical therapy with yoga therapy so this training was a good start in that direction. The thing is now that I am done, I feel like I have only scratched the surface of my yoga education. So I applied to go through Shiva Rea's 300 hour teacher training over the course of the next 1-2 years.

But before I start this next training, I was feeling like I needed to do some serious Spring Cleaning. So I signed up to do a 30 Day Challenge at Bikram Kearny Mesa. I went 6 days in a row and then came down with a pretty bad cold that has had me coughing for the last 10 days. I am to the point now where ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!! I haven't had a cold that lasted this long in 2 years. Which tells me that I need to get back to a regular daily yoga practice once and for all.

So I have decided to do 101 days of Bikram in the studio. I've been toying with the idea since I first read Mary Jarvis' avocation of doing 101. (Read it HERE.) When I still lived in Hawaii I did something like 127 consecutive daliy yoga practices but I would only go to the studio 3-4 times a week and practice at home with a dvd on the other days. The idea of doing 101 daily Bikram classes in the studio completely intimidated me, to be honest.

That's one of the good things about going through the 200 hour training. I realized that I know a whole lot more about yoga than I realized and that I have a pretty strong practice - especially for not being the most consistent over the last 3 1/2 years since I took my first class. Now is the time to get consistent. Now is the time for me to do a 101 Day Bikram Challenge.

I am working 2 jobs and I will be taking classes towards my PT pre-requisites. But it doesn't matter. I NEED to do this and there is no time like the present. My journey starts tomorrow and I will try to document it here to the best of my ability.

Anyway thanks for joining me.

Namaste.

OK let's try that again...

2010-09-06T11:02:00.002-10:00

Sunday 9/5/10
Bikram Kearny Mesa
4:30 pm w/ MArk

Monday 9/6/10
Home Practice - Baron Baptiste
"Core Power" (30 min)

Well - I didn't actually get back into the daily yoga until now. Yesterday I went and signed up for the monthly auto-debit special at Bikram Kearny Mesa. It's just $111 per month for unlimited yoga - which I think is a smoking deal.

I planned my meals just right for the day. I took 2 Yoga Body and 2 Yoga Fuel capsules 30 minutes before the class. And I drank a ton of water all throughout the day. Then during class I tried my best to take it easy - didn't sit out any postures - but didn't stay in most of them the full time either. I felt pretty nauseous all through class. But today I feel pretty good. I am a little sore - but it's a good sore that means I am getting back into the business.

Tomorrow I think that I am going to go check out Sol Yoga in La Jolla with my sister. She bought me a package of 5 and I just never got around to using them. My goal is to do Bikram in the studio 3-4 days per week and then mix it up with other styles of yoga on the inbetween days. That seems to work the best for my body.

I am going to try to complete a full year of daily yoga. 365 days without skipping a single day. There's really no excuse because I have 2 separate 30 minute videos that I can do in a pinch. 30 minutes is nothing to set aside even on my busiest days.

Long term I am really hoping to be able to go through Teacher Training in Fall 2011. I am keeping my fingers crossed that 1) Bikram will keep the training here in San Diego for the next 3 classes and 2) my financing source (contract work at my previous job in Hawaii) will come through for Jan 2011. And of course 3) that I can loose 50-60 more pounds and get into THE best shape of my life over the course of the next year.

So that's it. September 5, 2010 through September 4, 2011. My one year commitment to transform my life with yoga. I am UNSTOPPABLE this time.

Finally getting back to DAILY YOGA

2010-07-24T19:36:00.003-10:00

Bikram Mira Mesa
9:00 AM w/ Amy
Friday 7/23/10

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (41 min)
Saturday 7/24/10

Well after several stops and starts I am *finally* back to daily yoga practice. Guess that the move has been a bigger adjustment than I anticipated. I was so spoiled having a Bikram Studio that was a 5 min drive and a 15 min walk from my house in Hawaii. Now the closest one takes me 20-30 to get to. But regardless, that's not an excuse not to go.

I signed up for the 2 weeks unlimited for $50 at the Mira Mesa studio and I am going to try to make it to at least 8 classes. My goal is to do Bikram 4 days per week and then mix it up with different yoga dvd's at home on the other alternating days. I like the Mira Mesa studio but Kearney Mesa is closer and offers more classes - so that's where I'll probably be going long term. I also really liked the La Jolla studio but it's kind of a pain getting there. Oh well. We shall see how things go over the next 12 days or so.

I am very glad to be getting back into the swing of things.

I'm BAAAACK!!!

2010-01-10T17:28:00.007-10:00

Practice #1
Bikram Kearny Mesa
10 am w/ Joseph

Well the last couple months have been incredibly busy. So very much has happened in such a short time...

I completed my second semester of Anatomy & Physiology and by some act of god managed to squeak out a "B"(!!) I finished up w/ my job and didn't leave any obvious loose ends to be tidied up after I left. I sold, packed, or got rid of all my worldly possessions and dragged Buddha across the ocean to California. Got to San Diego in time to see my baby sister in her full 9-months-pregnant glory. Two gorgeous twin baby boys were born Christmas morning. Spent a low-key Christmas with my mom, my sisters, their husbands and kids. Adopted a 6 month old chihuahua-cattle dog puppy who is an absolute love. And on top of all of that I've already unpacked about 80% of my stuff and settled into my own wing at my mom's place. WHEW!!!!

Then today I went to Bikram Kearny Mesa and signed up for the $20 one week unlimited. The class was taught by Joseph who is the reigning National Yoga Champion and he is just delightful. I had a bit too much coffee in the morning so I felt nauseous and my heart was pounding for most of the class. But, after a little over a month away, it was precisely what I needed. Joseph was gracious enough to demonstrate a couple of his signature poses after class. Hard to believe that he had severe rheumatoid arthritis in his teens. Another walking-talking Bikram miracle. It felt so good to be back in the studio and I am completely fired up to get back into doing yoga every day. 7 days in a row of hot sweaty Bikram sessions should be a good kick start.

Happy New Year Everybody!!!!

2009-11-07T13:16:00.007-10:00

Well October was not a great month for yoga. I kept up with the daily practice until 10/9 which means I did 132 consecutive days. But then I fell off the wagon. No worries. It's not like I stopped completely. I had a whole lot going on in my life and ended up skipping a few days here and there. Regardless, I plan to myself back into the groove for the rest of Nov & Dec. Here are my October statistics:

1563 total minutes of yoga in 31 days
Average 50 minutes of yoga a day

Starting tomorrow is my six week countdown until the big move. And I am still a bit in denial. Really need to get sorting, packing, getting rid of stuff. But I'm also going to try to follow Alissa Cohen's living foods plan for the next six weeks. I will write more about that on the Raw Mana blog. The yoga goal is to get my dailly average back up to 70 minutes and to finish out the remaining 23 or so classes I have left to go on my 40 pack. Oh yeah... And get a "B" in my Anatomy & Physiology class. ;))

Day #125/216

2009-10-03T22:20:00.010-10:00

Yes we are already a couple of days into Oct - can you believe it!?!! But I still haven't had a chance to post my stats for the month of September:

1807 total minutes of yoga in 30 days
Average 60 minutes of yoga a day

Although 60 minutes a day is significant, it's a bit down from where I'd like to be. I knew that my daily average would be lower this month because I've been doing too many of the shorter yoga videos. Sort of a resting month after completing my 101 days. But I still haven't missed a single day. And I am ready to kick it back up a notch starting tomorrow (Sunday) with at least 3 Bikram practices per week for the next 11 weeks until I make my big move back to CA.

So I went through and calculated my yoga minutes for the whole year just to put things in perspective.

Jan 1st - May 31st 2009
91 Bikram practices
8190 minutes of yoga in 151 days
Average of 54.24 minutes of yoga per day

June 1st - September 30th 2009
125 varied yoga practices
8180 minutes of yoga in 125 days
Average of 65.44 minutes of yoga per day

YEARLY TOTAL:
16370 minutes of yoga in 276 days
Average of 59.31 minutes of yoga per day

Now I realize that this is not exactly scientific or even technically accurate because there were occasions prior to my 101 day challenge where I went for a whole week without doing yoga at all. Regardless it gives me an idea of where I've been and motivates me to make the commitment to get where I want to be.

By keeping up my daily practice through the end of the year I should significantly raise this daily average and continue to improve my overall health and well-being. Yoga has been a god-send for me. It is slowly, but surely changing my life from the inside out.

Day #114/205

2009-09-22T20:51:00.013-10:00

So... Just in case any of you were wondering...

I have not stopped my daily yoga even though the 101 days are over. ;))
I have just been super swamped with work and school so blogging has taken a back seat.

Somehow during the last week a major yoga milestone passed unnoticed. I reached the 200 class mark for the year. AMAZING. I did 91 Bikram classes between Jan 1st and May 30th followed by 114 daily yoga practices of a mixed variety since June 1st. I guess I am officially a yoga dork because I find this progress very exciting. In fact I decided to start posting my consecutive days number alongside my practice number for the year. That way I can see very plainly how close I am to my goal of 300 yoga sessions for 2009. The other goal I am toying with is to just keep up with the daily practice for a full year which would mean no skipping days all the way through June 1, 2010(!!!) Pretty ambitious. But the more time goes by the more feasible it seems.

I have sort of gotten out of the habit of going to the Bikram studio, though, and am really feeling the need to get back into it. Nothing like an intense sweat session to clear your head and rejuvenate your body. Of course, I do sweat a lot during my home practices. But it's just not the same without the heat and the group dynamic combined with the dialogue.

I also just ordered a 3 video Budokon set off Ebay. Budokon literally means "way of the spiritual warrior" and is a blend of yoga, martial arts, and meditation. I've been hearing that a lot of celebrities swear by it. Went to the website and really resonated with the philosophy behind it.

Read about it here: http://www.budokon.com/aboutbudokon.php?selected=aboutbudokon

Or check out video promo for the Flow & Flexibility dvd:

Yoga Adventure in Africa

2009-09-15T17:01:00.006-10:00

Join Linda-Sama of "Linda's Yoga Journey" February 26-28, 2010 for this once in a lifetime opportunity in Arusha, Tanzania...

http://lindakarl.net/yoga-retreats/

Day #101

2009-09-10T19:50:00.007-10:00

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) # 190
Monday 9/7/09

Home Practice - Bikram #191
Tuesday 9/8/09

Home Practice - Rainbeau Mars (30 min) #192
Wednesday 9/9/09

Actually 101 was yesterday. I just didn't get around to posting stats until today...

I DID IT!!!! I practiced yoga for 101 consecutive days; for a total of 6898 minutes, which is an average of 68 minutes per day. And most importantly, did I mention that I did not miss a single day !?!!! I am very proud of myself, but now that it's over it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I plan to keep going and complete another 101 days beginning today 9/10/09 and ending 12/19/09.

I will be leaving Hawaii for the mainland on December 20th of this year. My decision to leave is bittersweet. I'm going to really miss living in the islands but it is time for me to go. At least for now. I plan to get my RN and nowhere else can touch the California Community College system in terms of cost. In addition, my sister is having twins at the end of the year and this has made me realize that I want to be closer to my family.

Just a little over 13 weeks to soak up all this paradise has to offer.

Day #98

2009-09-06T22:54:00.003-10:00

Home Practice - Rainbeau Mars (37 min) #184
Tuesday 9/1/09

Home Practice - Bikram #185
Wednesday 9/2/09

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #186
Thursday 9/3/09

Home Practice - Shiva Rea(73 min) #187
Friday 9/4/09

Home Practice - Seane Corn (40 min) #188
Saturday 9/5/09

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (42 min) #189
Sunday 9/6/09

Day #92

2009-08-31T23:26:00.007-10:00

Home Practice - Bikram #177
Tuesday 8/25/09

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (42 min) #178
Wednesday 8/26/09

Home Practice - Bikram #179
Thursday 8/27/09

Home Practice - Seane Corn (60 min) #160
Friday 8/28/09

Home Practice - Chakra Balancing (55 min) #181
Saturday 8/29/09

Home Practice - Bikram #182
Sunday 8/30/09

Bikram Kaimuki - class #183
8:15 pm w/ Kevo
Monday 8/31/09

Monthly Stats for August:

Bikram - 9x (810 minutes)
Baron Baptiste - 6x (325 minutes)
Shiva Rea - 5x (315 minutes)
Seane Corn - 5x (290 minutes)
Chakra Balancing - 4x (220 minutes)
Jivamukti - 2x (113 minutes)

31 daily yoga practices

TOTAL: 2073 minutes of yoga
Average of 67 minutes a day!!!

That's down a bit from the last 2 months. But I plan to get my average back up to over 70 minutes per day in September with more regular Bikram practices - at least 12 for the month.

Day #85

2009-08-24T23:44:00.004-10:00

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (73 min) #173
Friday 8/21/09

Home Practice - Seane Corn (40 min) #174
Saturday 8/22/09

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #175
Sunday 8/23/09

Home Practice - Chakra Yoga (55 min) #176
Monday 8/24/09

Started back to school today. I am taking the second semester of Anatomy & Physiology, both the lecture and lab together this time around. It's going to be a challenge, but I am determined to keep on top of it and get even better grades than I did in the previous semester. I really want an A in the lecture and a B in the lab, although I'd still be pretty happy with 2 B's.

I am really enjoying another new DVD I got a couple weeks ago - Chakra Balancing Yoga w/ Sharon Gannon. It's not as rigorous a workout as the other Jivamukti videos, but I feel pretty amazing after. Like my whole body is buzzing from the inside out. I highly recommend it for anyone who'd like to get in tune with their energy centers and work through any karmic issues they might have.

Day #81

2009-08-20T22:40:00.006-10:00

Home Practice - Chakra Balancing (55 min) #169
Monday 8/17/09

Bikram Kaimuki - class #170
Tuesday 8/18/09
8:15pm w/ Kevo

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #171
Wednesday 8/19/09

Home Practice - Chakra Balancing (55 min) #172
Thursday 9/20/09

Day #77

2009-08-16T23:36:00.009-10:00

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #165
Thursday 8/13/09

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #166
Friday 8/14/09

Home Practice - Seane Corn (40 min) #167
Saturday 8/15/09

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (73 min) #168
Sunday 8/16/09

Had a huge event this weekend that my company's been gearing up for over the last several months. I am so relieved that it is OVER.

Several good home practices, regardless how tired and crabby I've been in the evenings. Yoga is my constant. And no matter how bad I may feel - physically, emotionally, etc... - my daily yoga helps to release the day and make everything a little bit better.

Tomorrow night it's back to the studio for me. I need to sweat out all the built up stress along with all the junk food I had over my long working weekend.

Day #73

2009-08-12T23:09:00.007-10:00

Home Practice - Seane Corn (40 min) #159
Friday 8/7/09

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #160
Saturday 8/8/09

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (85 min) #161
Sunday 8/9/09

Bikram Kaimuki - class #162
Monday 8/10/09
8:15 pm w/ Gail

Bikram Kaimuki - class #163
Tuesday 8/11/09
8:15 pm w/ Kevo

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (42 min) #164
Wednesday 8/12/09

Day #67

2009-08-06T22:01:00.002-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #156
Tuesday

Home Practice - Sean Corne (85 min) #157
Wednesday

Home practice - Bikram #158
Thursday

Day #64

2009-08-03T21:27:00.004-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #153
Saturday

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) #154
Sunday

Home Practice - Bikram #155
Monday

Day #61

2009-07-31T20:56:00.011-10:00

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #149
Tuesday

Bikram Kaimuki - class #150
Wednesday 8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Bikram Kaimuki - class #151
Thursday 8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Bikram Kaimuki - class #152
Friday 6:30 pm w/ Barbara

I've had several good studio practices in a row. But I especially enjoyed Barbara's class. She taught the first Bikram class I ever took way back on March 1st, 2007. I loved it from the very start. Even tough it took me more than a year and a half to develop a regular practice that lasted more than a month or two.

She is a bit older than most of the teachers, maybe in her 50's (or 60's even?), really hard to tell for sure. She has a wonderfully calm, wise energy about her. I remember thinking on that first fateful day that I would love to be in that great of shape when I'm her age. Hell, I'd love to be in that great of shape NOW. And I am well on my way to making that a reality. ;))

I am pretty blown away that it's already the end of July. And since another month is finished I have more exciting stats to report:

31 total yoga practice sessions:
9 Bikram - 4x home, 5x studio (90 min each)
9 Baptiste - 4x 45 min, 2x 60 min, 2x 70 min, 1x 85 min
9 Jivamukti - 4x 60 min, 5x 53 min
2 Shiva Rea (85 min each)
2 Sean Corne (85 min each)

That's 2180 total minutes of yoga this month!!

Which is an average of 70 minutes of yoga per day!!!

I am now over 60% of the way to 101 consecutive practice days!!!!

Day #57

2009-07-27T23:26:00.005-10:00

Home Practice - Sean Corne (85 min) #148
Monday

Yes, it is official. My new favorite yoga teacher is Sean Corne. She reminds me a little bit of Marianne Williamson in her ideology - which I so completely resonate with. Some people may be turned off by the heavy dose of spirituality infused into the yoga practice. But I just love it!!! It is EXACTLY what I need at this stage in my progression.

Weird, but I feel like I am going through tremendous changes. My body is shrinking and tightening. I am getting stronger and more competent with all of my yoga routines. But the really big changes are not on the physical level. I feel like I am changing energetically and spiritually. I feel like I am melting off layers of old attitudes and behaviors that don't fit with me anymore. And I am burning off some pretty heavy karma too. Each yoga practice brings me closer to my truest and highest self. I am so grateful to be on this incredible journey.

Day #56

2009-07-26T22:09:00.007-10:00

Home Practice - Sean Corne (85 min) #143
Wednesday 7/22

Bikram Kaimuki - class #144
8:15 pm w/ Gail
Thursday 7/23

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #145
Friday 7/24

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #146
Saturday 7/25

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (85 min) #147
Sunday 7/26

So not too many studio practices over the last several weeks. Moving forward I really need to do 3 every week. Home practice has been great but I need to make it in for a hot sweaty studio class much more regulary to completely flush everything and get out of my head.

I feel a little bit more comfortable with the Shiva Rea routine. It's still very unorthodox but good variety for my body and mind.

The teacher who I think I like best so far, though, is Sean Corne. She is just delightful. A slightly different take on the Jivamukti style of Sharon Gannon and David Life. She really spends a lot of time on the foundational stuff that I need the most right now.

I have ordered another Sean Corne and another Shiva Rea dvd and am very excited to those into my rotation when they get here.

My weekly goal is 3 Bikram studio days and then one home workout each: Sean Corne, Shiva Rea, Baron Baptiste, and Jivamukti. I am getting stronger, leaner, and more supple every single day. ;))

Day #51

2009-07-21T22:36:00.002-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #135
Tuesday 7/14

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #136
Wednesday 7/15

Home Practice - Bikram #137
Thursday 7/16

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #138
Friday 7/17

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) #139
Saturday 7/18

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #140
Sunday 7/19

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #141
Monday 7/20

Home Practice - Bikram #142
Tuesday 7/21

Day #42

2009-07-13T23:21:00.007-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #130
Thursday

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #131
Friday

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) #132
Saturday

Home Practice - Bikram #133
Sunday

Home Practice - Shiva Rea (85 min) #134
Monday

Haven't missed a day even though I have not made it to the studio in almost 2 weeks. Tomorrow I plan to go to Jeremy's class in Kaimuki.

Tonight I got my first actual taste of what a Shiva Rea class is like. Her style is very different than what I am used to, but the workout will certainly add variety to my practice. I can see how the free form can be very liberating but I also see how some more traditional yogi's would think it's just weird. Personally, I need to do the routine a few times to get the moves down so that I feel a little more comfortable with the flow of the practice.

I have to get up extra early and make it to a 7 AM meeting tomorrow morning. So I am going to sign off. Goodnight & Namaste.

Day #38

2009-07-08T23:23:00.003-10:00

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #127
Monday

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #128
Tuesday

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) #129
Wednesday

So I haven't made it to the studio yet this week. I have 2 rooms vacating at my house so I've been interviewing potential roommates in the evenings. Several good candidates so far, each with their own pros and cons. Hopefully we will be able to make a decision by the end of the weekend. I pray that my intuition will guide me to select the right people to mesh with our household.

Day #35

2009-07-05T23:19:00.005-10:00

Home Practice - Jivamukti (53 min) #124
Friday

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #125
Saturday

Home Practice - Bikram #126
Sunday

Well I didn't make it to Manny's class but I did the Bikram audio cd at home. Overall decent practice.

Yesterday I watched the discussion w/ David Life, Sharon Gannon, and Michael Franti that came with the "Power to the Peaceful Yoga" DVD. The Jivamukti practice is sort of like a blend between the Baptiste and Bikram styles in that it flows but then holds static poses. It is still pretty different, though. Generally less intense - especially since I need to modify some of the postures as a beginner - but I do like it. And their philosophy TOTALLY resonates with me. They are all about making the world a better place through your everyday actions and using yoga practice to become a better person from the inside out. Really wonderful food for thought.

Day #33

2009-07-03T09:50:00.011-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #120
Monday 8:15 pm w/ Kevo

Home Practice - Jivamukti (60 min) #121
Tuesday

Bikram Kaimuki - class #122
Wednesday 8:15 w/ Jeremy

Home Practice - Baptiste (85 min) #123
Thursday

Well today I wanted to post some stats for the month of June.

30 total yoga practice sessions:
14 Bikram - 3x home, 11x studio (90 min each)
14 Baptiste - 8x 45 min, 4x 60 min, 2x 70 min
1 Barkan - 60 min
1 Jivamukti - 60 min

That's 2120 total minutes of yoga this month!!

Which is an average of 70 minutes per day!!!

YAY! I got my new yoga videoes. So far I have tried "Transform Yourself with Jivamukti Yoga" w/ David Life & Sharon Gannon and "Foundations of Power Vinyasa" w/ Baron Baptiste. I think I will do "Power to the Peaceful Yoga" w/ David Life, Sharon Gannon & Michael Franti this evening and then go to Manny's class in Hawaii Kai tomorrow.

My plan is to start with the 2 Jivamukti DVD's alternating w/ Baptiste workouts for a few weeks until I sort of learn those routines. Then I will incorporate the Sean Corn and Shiva Rea practices into the rotation one at a time. I don't want to overwhelm myself with too many new routines at the same time. If I add them in slowly and give myself a chance to learn one new style at a time, I think that I will avoid getting frustrated and enjoy the process a lot more.

Almost 1/3 of the way to 101!!!!

Help Send a Friend to Teacher Training

2009-06-29T10:57:00.004-10:00

Aloha everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to request your assistance. My blogger friend, Crisitunity, is trying to turn a negative situation (job lay-off) into a positive opportunity (yoga teacher training). She will be selling her original short stories for a small donation towards the cause.

Please visit her blog to read more about her and donate if you are able.

http://crisitunity.wordpress.com/

Day #28

2009-06-28T23:22:00.006-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #117
Friday

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #118
Saturday 6 pm w/ Manny

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #119
Sunday

I forgot how much I like Manny's class. He moves a bit faster through the 26 postures than other Bikram teachers I've had. But I really enjoy his take on the series. I also really like the radiant heat. It seems much hotter than the Kaimuki studio. Feels like it heats you through to your core and I am able to get deeper into the postures in a shorter period of time.

My roommate helped me put up a 30" x 60" mirror in my yoga room. Tonight's practice was the first one I did in front of the mirror. I love being able to check my alignment while I am doing postures now. Such a helpful tool, don't know how I ever got along without it.

I am really happy with my progress so far. Still not proficient at the Baptiste videoes, but getting better every day. I really can't wait for my new yoga dvd's to come this week. I am so excited to try classes with Seane Corn, Shiva Rea, David Life, and Sharon Gannon. I am going to be in yoga heaven with all the new insights and the variety in yoga styles. I feel almost like a kid counting down the days until Christmas!

Day #25

2009-06-25T22:51:00.003-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #115
Wednesday 8:15 pm w/ Tom

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #116
Thursday

Solid class w/ Tom Wed night. Decent home practice tonight. Not much to say about either.

Hard to believe that I'm done w/ 25 days in a row and almost a quarter of the way to 101!!!!!

Day #23

2009-06-23T22:32:00.008-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #113
Monday 8:15 pm w/ Gail

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #114
Tuesday

I *really* didn't feel like doing yoga tonight. I had one of those days where I can just tell that I am about to start my period any second now. Feeling really grouchy and low energy and uncomfortable and just blah. But I practiced anyway. And I know that it did my body a lot of good. Still kinda achy but my attitude is 1000% better.

Last night I took class with Gail - who I am not at all crazy about. I guess that I should consider myself lucky that she is the only teacher I've had here that I really don't care for. I purposely went to her class, though, because Kevo was teaching the 6:30 and my body needed an easier class. My back was still pinched last night but now after tonight's home practice it feels like it has relaxed a bit.

There were several men in class last night and somebody had serious BO. And then there was someone breathing out really hard with all kinds of drama after every single posture all through the class. I was a little peeved cause the teacher didn't say anything to correct whoever was doing it - but I knew better than to have high expectations for a cohesive class. I started to just tune everything out and actually had an OK practice in spite of it all.

Day #21

2009-06-21T23:15:00.006-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #111
Saturday 4:30 pm w/ Kevo

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #112
Sunday

WOW. 3 weeks straight doing yoga every day. I feel fantastic. Although I must admit my back is kinda sore after 2 days in a row of Kevo classes. He just has a knack for getting me to push myself to the edge. And maybe a little past the edge sometimes. I'm hoping that after tonight's fairly mellow workout it will be better tomorrow.

I'm really going to try to alternate studio days w/ home days so that I'm not doing the exact same sequence (including Bikram) any 2 days in a row. I feel like my body does better with that kind of variety. At least for now. But I am really stoked to keep on going strong without skipping a single day of yoga for the next 11 weeks and maybe even beyond.

Day #19

2009-06-19T21:23:00.013-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #109
Thursday

Bikram Kaimuki - class #110
Friday 6:30 pm w/ Kevo

Back to the Kaimuki studio and an ass-kicking Kevo class. I really missed his teaching style. Such a great class. Definitely hard, but not quite as hard as I remember. I was able to hold his long count for both sets of the second part of awkward. I was also able to hold the entire count in the second set of standing bow pulling pose for probably the first time ever. And I was able to get down all the way on both sides of toe stand - which is another first for me - but then couldn't navigate myself back up to standing without falling out. I wasn't able to hold his extra extended version of both sets of camel, either, because by that point in the class I was running on empty. Still, I didn't sit out any postures even though I wanted to. I made it through strong to the end.

The Baptiste DVD, "Soul of Strength - Power Vinyasa LIVE!", that I did on Thursday is another excellent workout that I highly recommend. In fact, I would recommend all of the Baptiste DVD's that I have done so far. He has a very calm manner and relaxing style. Which is not to say that the workouts are easy - he definitely pushes you to your limits and makes you sweat a lot.

I am getting ready to order a 3 DVD Yoga Journal "master teachers" set that features 3 live 85 min classes - one each with Baron Baptiste, Seane Corn, and Shiva Rea. I am very excited to try these teacher's styles and expand my yoga repertoire. I'm also going to try taking Bikram studio classes from at least 3 different teachers per week going forward if at all possible. I really feel like the variety is helping my practice. I will also allow one of my weekly Bikram classes to be done at home w/ his cd a couple times per month just because I like it so much. ; ))

Still feeling strong and like I am constantly improving.

Day #17

2009-06-17T23:09:00.035-10:00

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #107
Tuesday 7:30 pm w/ Manny

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #108
Wednesday

Really just glad that I got in a yoga workout at all today.

The DVD I did tonight, Baptiste's "Power Yoga Level 3 - The Ultimate Challenge", is really tough but only 45 minutes long. So it's very good to do at home when you're on a time crunch. I am not nearly proficient at any of the Baptiste DVD's yet. But I know that my skill level will improve with time. Especially as I get stronger and lose a little bit of bulk. Any workout that I could do at all well the first couple times through would have me bored in a couple of months anyway. These give me something to work towards.

Yesterday I took another hot class w/ Manny. I was a little annoyed because this was the second day I've been at this studio when he let students join the class late. Significantly late. During pranayama breathing is one thing, but people kept trickling in through the whole first set of half moon and hands to feet pose. I do understand that the class time has changed recently, but still. This was a crowded class so people had to shift their mats over to make room each time someone else came in. What is up with that?

As you can probably tell, I started to really get my panties in a bunch about it. I know it is the teacher or owner's prerogative as to when to cut off latecomers, but in that moment it seemed grossly unfair to those of us who took the trouble to get the time right and make it to class early. But then I decided to just stop and began working on my focus to breathe through the annoyance and let it go. That way I could at least enjoy the rest class.

SIGH. I hope that this does not turn out to be a regular thing because I really don't like starting out the class with a big fat chip on my shoulder. And to be honest, it has slightly tarnished my otherwise high opinion of this teacher. Whatever. Clearly, I am *not* the boss of the universe. Much as I seem to think I should be sometimes. ;))

Day #15

2009-06-15T22:39:00.010-10:00

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #105
Sunday 6 pm w/ Manny

Home Practice - Baptiste (70 min) #106
Monday

Did the Baptiste DVD, "Power Yoga Level 2 - The Next Challenge", tonight. So far it is my favorite non-Bikram workout. He incorporates most of the 26 postures from the Bikram sequence (or at least variations thereof) along with several additional poses into a vinyasa flow series that is pretty strenuous, but really enjoyable. Lots of "plank position" and "downward dog" so my shoulders are burning a little.

I only did 3 studio workouts last week so my goal is to do 5 this week. Shouldn't be too tough. I am just really liking alternating studio days w/ non-studio days. So it will be interesting to see how my body responds to going to the studio 3 days in a row.

I am feeling really good. School is a bitch right now and I don't know how I'd be able to deal with the stress if it wasn't for the daily yoga. I've been sort of wondering why in the world I wouldn't keep practicing every day after the 101 days are up. It hasn't really been a struggle at all. I will have to see how I feel 12 or so weeks from now. But I'm predicting that I'll be even more addicted to getting my daily yoga glow.

Day #13

2009-06-13T23:18:00.010-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #103
Friday

Home Practice - Barkan (60 min) #104
Saturday

So I got a new yoga DVD. It's The Barkan Method, a 60 minute yoga routine that is sort of like a hybrid of the Baptiste and Bikram styles. James Barkan was a student of Bikram Choudhoury and Bishnu Ghosh back in the 80's. Over the years he has developed his own approach to hot yoga. I bought the DVD because I was curious about his take on the practice. The workout was just OK. I am never able to do a new routine very well the first time through so we shall see how I like it after a few times. The thing I am excited about is that the DVD has a tutorial on each posture - which I hope will give me a better understanding of the proper technique.

I also bought "Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class" book which goes through the 26 postures in great detail with benefits and modifications for each. It also has some great photos of actual students he's had over the years. I read his most recent book when it came out a few years ago and got so much out of it. Now I'm *really* looking forward to going through all the postures one by one and getting his personal insights into each.

This book will have to wait until I am on break in July and August for me to read it, though. Right now I am pretty swamped studying Anatomy & Physiology to keep up with my summer class. Man do they cram a whole lot of information into six short weeks. I will be really happy to have a little bit more free time at the end of the summer.

Anyway it is late and I am pretty beat, so I will sign off for now.

Aloha & Namaste to all of you.

My Tattoo

2009-06-12T18:34:00.050-10:00

So it's not completely healed but pretty close. The colors should be a little richer once the skin has finished peeling and it's not so flaky. The location is my right inner ankle and represents putting my best foot forward into the world. The tattoo design is not exactly what I had in mind, but I actually like it even better. This tattoo has many layers of meaning for me. I will try to explain them as best as I can.

The small stick figure in the center w/ the heart for a body is a representation of the Spearhead "Stay Human" logo. I decided I wanted to get that logo in a tattoo about 6 years ago when I first got turned on to Michael Franti.

A few weeks after seeing him perform at High Sierra Music Festival for the first time we heard about a cd signing at Amoeba Records in the Haight. We thought it would be a typical cd release - he'd sing a song or two and close up shop. What actually happened completely blew us away. The band played an acoustic set that lasted 3 hours straight, song after song, inside the record store. Then Michael stayed around for another hour and a half to talk to EVERY SINGLE PERSON and give them a hug. He made eye contact with each person like he was looking into their soul. It struck me so deeply that this man is a walking, talking manifestation of the word namaste. "I honor the divine in you that is also in me." Seriously, he is a musician who walks the walk and talks the talk. And an inspiration for me to do the same in my own life.

To me "Stay Human" means first and foremost to honor the sacredness of being human. It is a reminder to stay authentic, stay genuine, stay present and stay true to myself. To lead with my heart and to honor what makes me uniquely me. But at the same time, to realize that we are all the same. Through the process of recognizing and honoring my own humanness, I will automatically recognize and honor that same humanity in everyone I meet. Every life is sacred, every soul is pure.

I chose to incorporate the "Stay Human" logo within a mandala. The Tibetan word for "mandala," dkyil-‘khor , literally means "that which encircles a center." A "center," here is a meaning, and "that which encircles it" - a mandala - is a round symbol that represents or even amplifies that meaning. The goal of the mandala is to serve as a tool on our spiritual journey since it symbolizes cosmic and psychic order. And this particular design is a mandala within a mandala that reminds me of a flower petal blooming - which of course is a metaphor used frequently in Bikram yoga. To me this symbolizes that my life is in the process of opening up right now.

The colors I chose also have special meaning:

Orange is the color of the sacral chakra and represents creativity. This chakra is the center of the emotional body. It offers the opportunity to lessen "control issues" and find a balance in life, teaching us to recognize that acceptance and rejection are not the only options in relationships. The process of making changes in our life stream through our personal choices is a product of second chakra energy.

Red is the color of the kundalini or root chakra. It represents the element of fire. This chakra is the center of physical energy and vitality, the energy to succeed in business or material possessions, and the center of manifestations. The root chakra is the grounding force that allows us to connect to the earth energies that empower our being. When it is balanced we experience a steady flow of vitality.

Purple is the color of the third eye chakra and represents intuition. The third eye is the avenue to wisdom - learning from experiences and putting them in perspective. The ability to separate reality from fantasy or delusions is connected to the healthfulness of this chakra. Achieving the art of detachment beyond "small mindedness" is accomplished through the development of impersonal intuitive reasoning.

I know... Pretty deep. And now I will leave you with a YouTube video featuring Michael performing "Stay Human" that really captures his essence and the energy of being at a live show. All the freaky people DO make the beauty of the world.

Day #11

2009-06-11T21:47:00.021-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #101
Wednesday

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #102
Thursday 7:30 pm w/ Manny

Another awesome class. I was really tired all day and on the way over to the studio I made a deal with myself that I'd take it easy. Well, that didn't happen. As soon as I got set up for the first breathing exercise I couldn't help but give my hardest, best effort. It seems that every time I set foot in the studio lately each class builds on the last and I am amazed, yet again, at my constant progress. Tonight I touched my head to the floor for the first time ever in standing separate leg stretching posture. Then I nailed both sides and both sets of Triangle. And standing separate leg head to knee. That's just to name a few. It seemed like I achieved new ground in almost every single posture(!) I've only been back in the studio 3 times now and each has been an incredibly strong practice. I'm a little dumbfounded.

I have decided that Manny just may be my new favorite teacher. He is the owner of Bikram Hawaii Kai and totally old school, like 1970's style Bikram. His dialogue is not really by the book. He adds a couple of (optional) extra postures - like push ups before fixed firm. He talks a lot about the mind body connection and self realization. Tonight he mentioned that he doesn't believe in the typical 30 day challenge for those w/ moderate fitness levels because if you're overly tired then you won't improve as much or get as much out of your practice. He says that if you're out of shape, unable to get through all the postures, and just kind of cruising through class *then* coming every day has a lot of benefit. But he encourages everyone else to come to the studio 4 times a week and really work 100%, full out in every single one of those classes.

I know that all of this will sound blasphemous to the die hard Bikramites, but it makes so much sense to me. The danger of over-training is very real in any repetitive motion exercise. Why should yoga be any different? And so far w/ my little yoga experiment I feel like a living, breathing example of the benefit of working the body with different postures and even different styles of yoga in order to deepen my Bikram practice. I have never felt stronger or more limber. Or more committed to this practice for that matter. We'll have to see how this plays out during the full 101 days. But even in this short time frame I am pretty sold on the benefit of yoga cross-training.

Day #9

2009-06-09T22:17:00.011-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (60 min) #99
Monday

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #100
Tuesday 7:30pm w/ Leigh

Whoa... I made it through 100 yoga workouts so far this year. Now that's a major milestone.

Tonight I completely got my ass kicked, but in such a good way. Leigh used to teach at the Kaimuki studio when I first dabbled with Bikram back in 2007. I'm pretty sure that she is a master instructor because there are pictures of her teaching at TT on the official Bikram website. I always loved her class way back when. And having her tonight confirmed that the Kaimuki teachers are indeed much harder, at least than the other Hawaii Kai teachers I've had so far. My arms and legs felt like jello and I was completely loopy on the ride home.

Tonight I was also blown away by the progress I've made. Really. The improvement in my practice over the last several weeks is remarkable. Is it because I started listening to the dialogue w/ Bikram himself and am therefore executing better? Is it because I took a long break and so my body is fresh? Is it because cross-training with different styles has worked my muscles in a different way and given me a deeper appreciation for Bikram's 26 postures? Or could it be a little bit of all of these combined with my body just being ready to change? Who knows. But the last few Bikram practices I have felt a bit like a rockstar. Even tonight when it seemed that Leigh was mopping the floor with us.

So glad to be back in the studio.

Day #7

2009-06-08T10:03:00.008-10:00

Home Parctice - Bikram #97
Saturday

Bikram Hawaii Kai - #98
Sunday 6 pm w/ Manny

Last night was my first time back in the Bikram studio in 3 weeks. I went to Hawaii Kai because I bought a package of 10 when I was there before my trip. And even though it was only my 3rd time at that particular studio, it still felt like I had come home. I even got a little bit emotional during the first pranayama breathing exercise because I felt so deeply that I belonged there in that room doing that practice at that very moment. This yoga is truly amazing. It has worked its way down into my soul.

I had a really strong practice, probably my best yet. I was able to get deeper into most of the poses and my focus was really good. The class was really crowded and I barely even noticed. I was also able to stay in most of the balancing postures longer than usual. Overall a really fantastic class. Everything just clicked. The instructor even commented to me after that he appreciated my focus. That's always nice. ;))

I feel like the yoga cross training is working. I am not sore any more, I just feel worked out. My Bikram postures feel like they are getting better. I am going deeper into most of the positions and I am holding my balance longer. On the Baptiste side, I feel like I am getting the routine a little better each time I do it. We shall see how the weeks progress. But so far I would say that this experiment has been very beneficial. I have a renewed passion and respect for the practice of yoga.

Day #5

2009-06-05T22:49:00.017-10:00

Home Practice - Bikram #95
Thursday

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #96
Friday

Yes. Five days under my belt. One more Bikram home practice tomorrow and then I will venture back into the studio on Sunday. I am excited to get back into the swing of things.

The soreness is going away. I gave my body this week to sort of get used to the 45 min Baptiste workout. Next week I want to do the 60 min Baptiste workout at least 2x and the 45 min only once.

I do already feel a bit skinnier, but I am refraining from weighing myself until Sunday. I feel so much better both physically and mentally now that I am getting into a daily exercise habit again. And I realize that I have a tendency to be a little bit obsessed with the scale. So during the 14 week challenge I'm gonna try my best to weigh in once a week instead of daily.

Today I happened upon an old blog post from Bliss Chick about how she got rid of her migraines. (You can check her blog in my blog roll if you're interested.) For me, I think it's been almost a year since I had my last migraine. And it's also been a whole year since I gave up diet soda.

In her blog post BC talks about triggers and mentions dairy as a big one. Reading her words it was almost like something clicked in my head. When we consume most commercially available milk, cheese, etc. we are ingesting a BOATLOAD of antibiotics and synthetic hormones. How could this intake over years and years NOT screw with our bodies delicate hormonal balance and upset the natural intestinal flora of beneficial organisms?

So, drumroll please... Beginning tomorrow, 6/6/09, I am hereby giving up dairy for an entire year. I may add some organic and raw products back into my diet at a future date. But not until I've gone cold turkey from all milk and cheese for a full year. You reading here are my witnesses.

It's going to be hard. But that's what I thought about giving up diet drinks and it really wasn't too difficult once I made up my mind to do it. This is my health we're talking about. And that is of the utmost importance.

Day #3

2009-06-03T22:14:00.005-10:00

Home Practice - Bikram #93
Tuesday

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #94
Wednesday

Three yoga sessions down, ninety eight still to go. ;))

I am actually pretty sore. The particular Baptiste video I've been doing is only 45 minutes long but it has a lot more arm work than I am used to with Bikram. I feel it all through my shoulders and deep in my adominals as well. Exactly the kind of cross-training I am after. I'm not strong or limber enough to do all of the postures very well. But so far I like that it gives me something new to strive for.

I decided to err on the side of caution and stay out of the Bikram studio until Sunday. That should give my tattoo ample time to heal completely. It is getting better every day. I just want to be careful and make extra sure that it's 100% before exposing it to the sweatbox.

It's late so I am going to sign off now. Goodnight everybody!

Day #1

2009-06-01T21:46:00.010-10:00

Home Practice - Baptiste (45 min) #92

So today I began my own yoga challenge. I am going to do yoga every day consecutively for 101 days(!!!) However, I have decided that I will not be doing the Bikram sequence at the studio every single day.

I want to experiment w/ a couple of Baron Baptiste videos that come highly recommended by an old roommate of mine. One is a 45 minute beginner's Ashtanga practice and the other is a 70 minute Vinyasa flow sequence. I am hoping that this "yoga cross training" will keep my muscles guessing and get me into better shape faster than just doing Bikram alone. Not to mention trying these other styles will help make me into a more well rounded yogini in the long run.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Bikram. It will still be my foundation and I will go to the studio 4 days per week religiously. But I really feel like I want to expand my horizons a bit. So I will do one of the Baptiste videos at least 2x per week. And then the last weekly practice will be my choice - either the Bikram audio cd at home or one of the Baptiste videos. Who knows? Maybe at the end of this I will return to doing strictly Bikram or maybe I will like the variety of practicing different styles. Never know until you try.

In addition, I have been invited by Penni Shelton to join her "Big Fat Raw Experiment". For the next 14 weeks, or the duration of my yoga challenge, I will be trying my best to eat a high raw vegan diet and tracking my progress for the world to see. Check out my "Raw Mana" blog if you're interested in the details.

This is sort of active research for a book she's writing. So I am very excited to see what kind of effect the combo yoga and eating a much cleaner, higher water content diet will have on my body. The two seem like perfect compliments to each other.

My ankle tattoo is still healing. I had no problem doing the Baptiste video at home tonight but I'm a little worried about the heat. I'm gonna have to see how it feels tomorrow before I decide if I'm quite ready to get back into the studio yet. If worse comes to worse I'll just do a couple extra Bikram workouts at home this week. They say everyone heals differently and it takes as long as it takes. I really love it and promise to post pictures once it isn't all crusty looking. ;))

Anyway thanks for reading & sorry for the extended absence. I assure you that I'm back with a vengeance!!

2009-05-15T23:37:00.008-10:00

Home Practice - Bikram #88
Wednesday (5/5/09)

Home Practice - Bikram #89
Tuesday (5/6/09)

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #90
Wednesday (5/14/09) 8:05 pm w/ Fiona

Bikram Hawaii Kai - class #91
Friday (5/15/09) 7:00 pm w/ Manny

I took a couple of classes at the Hawaii Kai studio just to change things up a bit. The studio is really nice. Wood floors, radiant heat, very clean and not at all smelly. But after taking these classes I realize that the teachers at Kaimuki are generally more difficult. They tend to hold most of the postures longer, sometimes a lot longer, even compared to the audio cd w/ Bikram himself. I guess that's a good thing. I am learning from the hardcore of the hardcore. A new perspective is still nice, though.

I leave for the Bay Area tomorrow. I am so very excited to see my family and a little nervous to get my tattoo. That means no yoga for me for the next couple of weeks. But I do promise to start back on June 1st - even if it's just at home. And I also promise to post pictures of my ankle once it has healed a little bit.

Aloha & Namaste

2009-05-04T21:58:00.006-10:00

Home Practice - Bikram #87

I had a really good practice this evening. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be, what with the fasting and all. I didn't sweat as much without the heat, of course. So I wasn't able to go as deep into a few of the postures. But much to my delight and amazement, I was actually able to go deeper into some of them. I was able to touch both hands to the floor pretty easily in toe stand, although I have still not figured out how to bend my standing knee to get my body down yet. And I was able to grab my elbows for the first time ever in the last part of wind-removing pose. Hmmm. Maybe I'm just less sore and stiff than usual after taking a week+ off. Overall I was very pleasantly surprised.

I really like doing the Beginner's Series along with the audio cd. I just love Bikram's personality. He reminds me of a dance teacher I had when I was in my teens. Tough as nails and always pushing you to your edge, but doing it with so much love and genuine concern for your personal well being. I enjoy the insight into the man, the legend. And I love feeling at least a little bit like I am taking yoga from the boss himself. When I move back to California I definitely want to drive to LA at least a couple times a month to take classes when he's in town.

Next time I think that I will try a space heater so that the room is at least a little bit warm. I mean it's not cold in Hawaii by any stretch of the imagination, but it's nowhere close to 105 degrees either. Hopefully that will get me a little bit hotter and juicier.

The Master Cleanse is going great. My sense of smell is on overdrive and foods smell *really* good, but I am not at all hungry and know that I will not break it. I am seriously on a mission this time. ;))

Hope everyone's doing well with their challenges, practices, teacher training, etc.

Aloha & Namaste

2009-05-03T11:53:00.008-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #85
Tuesday (4/21/09) 6:30 pm w/ Jeremy

Bikram Kaimuki - class #86
Sunday (4/26/09) 11 am w/ Gail

Sorry that I haven't written for a while. Life has kinda been happening and I've been slacking on the yoga. I had an old roommate of mine come to visit for 10 days. And then I went to stay with my sister and her family out at the Ko`olina Resort on the other side of the island for a few more days. Besides that I was also pretty busy with work and have been furiously studying for my final on May 13th whenever I can find a spare moment. SIGH. I have had a *really* hectic schedule and let the yoga slide a bit. The bigger problem is that I let my eating habits slide too.

Well now that the visitors are gone and I'm down to the 2 week countdown before my trip I have decided to do the Master Cleanse to wipe the slate clean. (I will be posting the nitty-gritty details on my Raw Mana blog.) While I am on this detox program I will be doing yoga at home and not going to the studio. I'm afraid that the heat will just be too intense for me while detoxing. And at home I am a lot more in control... I can stop the cd and take a rest if needed, I can go get more water/lemonade from the kitchen, etc... But I do hope to practice at least 10 times in the next 13 days before I leave.

Then I also plan to get my ankle tattoo while I am in the Bay Area. Which means another 2 weeks that I'll need to stay out of the studio. So basically, I need to keep up my practice at home for the entire month of May. But to *sort of* make up for being out of the studio for a month, I'm thinking about doing a 30 day challenge in June. I've checked my calendar and as of yet there are no events that will prevent me from doing the full 30 days consecutively. I do hope to do 101 days at some point. But 30 days without skipping would be a start.

2009-04-19T22:47:00.008-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #83
Saturday 11 am w/ Noa

Bikram Kaimuki - class #84
Sunday 6:30 pm w/ Noa

Two good classes w/ Noa two days in a row.

Saturday I felt much stronger. Noa even commented to me after class how great I look and how well my practice is coming along. And even though I know it's true, I just never get tired of hearing it. ;))

Sunday was really hot and I was tired coming into class. I ended up sitting out second set of triangle and both sides of toe stand because I was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed towards the end of the standing series. Once we hit the floor I recuperated a little and was able to finish strong.

Something Noa said in class yesterday has really stayed with me. She said that as you develop a regular practice one of the hardest things to remember is to come into each class with no expectations and leave with no judgments. But it is crucial to learn to do this. I feel like I already knew that on a certain level but still have much work to do in this respect. I've made tremendous progress over the last few months. I need to recognize how far I've come and cut myself some slack when I have a rough day.

The green smoothie challenge is still going really well. I feel like it is the perfect complement to Bikram Yoga and I highly recommend it.

2009-04-17T22:03:00.007-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #81
Thursday 6:30 pm

Bikram Kaimuki - class #82
Friday 6:30 pm w/ Michele

So last night I high-tailed it over to the studio early cause Jeremy was supposed to be teaching and it was actually the teacher I don't really like instead. I was a little bummed but powered through the class anyway. Then tonight I thought I'd have her again cause she was listed on the online schedule; but was pleasantly surprised when I arrived to find that Michele was teaching. Both classes were HOT and CROWDED. And it doesn't help that the weather has started to get really humid here. Summer is definitely on its way.

It's weird, since taking off for several days I almost feel like I'm starting over or something. The room feels hotter, although I am able to make it through class with more composure in spite of the fact that I'm suffering. I'm getting the lower back pinch that I have to work through again. My triangle and camel have backslid a lot so that I cannot hold the full time in either set of the postures. But my toe stand is getting better. The last 2 classes I was actually able to touch the floor with both hands while keeping my standing knee straight. Bending down into the full expression is another story, but this is progress nonetheless. My separate leg stretching on the floor has gotten better, too. I can now straighten my knee on both sides while keeping my head firmly planted on my knee.

I have been on green smoothies for 3 days now. But really I've just been having them for breakfast so far and then making a fresh veggie-based juice in place of an evening meal. All I can say is WOW. I have so much energy and without a drop of coffee(!!) I feel alert and focused all day and really conscious of my food choices. Besides that I've lost 7.5 pounds in just 3 days(!!!) And I am not even following the green smoothie challenge to the letter. I feel like I have finally found the magic bullet: whole foods and yoga are an amazing combination for getting healthy from the inside out.

It's late and I am pretty beat so I will sign off for now. Hope every one is doing well in their own challenges/practices/trials & tribulations/etc...

Aloha, Namaste, & Goodnight!

2009-04-15T23:04:00.005-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #80
8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Finally, a decent class. Not too hard, not too hot, no major breakthroughs but everything just kind of flowed. I really needed the reminder of why I love this yoga. After the struggle I had with the last two classes, I think I'm gonna swear off alcohol once again. I did have a lot of fruits and vegetables because it was the first day of my green smoothie challenge. But other than that, no alcohol the day before is the big difference.

I also lost 2 lbs from yesterday - I guess just deciding to do the challenge got my body back into losing mode. ;))

I took a personal day off work so that I could spend the whole day studying for my A&P exam. The test kicked my butt anyway. It covered the nervous system, the spine, and the brain in pretty complex detail. Fascinating stuff, just a tremendous amount of information. My brain is seriously overloaded and I am going to call it a night. I'll try to get back into the daily meditations tomorrow.

Green Smoothie Experiment

2009-04-14T19:20:00.008-10:00

Well I have decided to begin the Green Smoothie Challenge recommended by Green Smoothie Girl. Or at least a modified version for right now. This is an experiment to determine the combined effects of Bikram Yoga and a living foods lifestyle. I have been toying with the idea of going raw for a while now and this seems like a doable step in that direction. Go to the website to read more and to sign up for her email newsletter: http://www.greensmoothiegirl.com/weightloss.html

Because I'd like to reserve this blog for yoga and related insights, moving forward I will be documenting my food choices and weight loss progress on my "Raw Mana" blog. (http://ellen96816.blogspot.com/) I am sure there will be a little crossover but I invite anyone who is interested to read about the fine details there. ;))

No yoga for me for for the last couple of days. I swam Sunday and then felt a migraine headache coming on in the late afternoon. I was able to cut it off w/ Excedrin Migraine very shortly after it started, but was still left with a tension headache for the rest of the evening. Then yesterday night I had a friend's birthday dinner so I skipped yoga again. Now I'm feeling a little bit hung over from drinking a bit too much wine so I'm not going to make it today either.

Boy I sure am piling up the excuses. One just seems to snowball into another. Tomorrow I must re-group and get myself back on track. I still may to try to make it to 110 classes before I leave. Which would require doing a few doubles (4) to make up for the days I'll be travelling. We shall see.

2009-04-11T22:13:00.008-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #79
4:30 pm w/ Noa

Well tomorrow came and it wasn't better. In fact it was much worse. Maybe cause I drank 4 beers yesterday when my limit these days has been 2. Maybe cause I had so much salty, greasy bar food. Maybe cause I got a little bit of sun during the day before class. Maybe I just didn't drink enough water. Most likely a combination of all of the above. I had an extremely hard class. Probably the most difficult class I've had to date. My head was throbbing and I sat out one set of several postures. I never do that. I usually power through. But not today. I just couldn't. SIGH.

2009-04-10T21:27:00.007-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #77
Friday (4/3) 6:30 pm w/ Tom

Bikram Kaimuki - class #78
Friday (4/10) 11 am w/ Tom

Yes, you read that right. I went six days in a row without going to yoga. I worked late every night getting ready for our big event this week. But that's no excuse really. I still should have made time to go to class. I gained a little weight back and after this morning's class I felt pretty awful - polluted almost. I like to think of Bikram as taking a shower from the inside out. So, in essence, it's like my insides hadn't been properly cleaned for 6 days.

Class this morning was HARD. I started out with a little headache and by the end of the class my head was throbbing. I drank a coconut water before class, which I've never tried and I also downed a bunch of water in case the headache meant I was dehydrated. I went to the bathroom twice before class started just to be on the safe side. No matter. I felt like I needed to pee from about party-time on. I made a deal with myself that I'd wait until after standing series was finished to leave the room. But when the time came I decided to tough it out til the end of class. I got through floor series but couldn't go too deep into any of the spine-strengthening or compression postures cause it was too uncomfortable on my bladder. I am certain that tomorrow will be better.

Today's Weight: 217.0

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ milk and vanilla syrup
Kona chocolate chip pancakes
(11:00 am - Mulvadi Cafe)
couple pieces of fried calamari
2 fried crab & macademia nut wontons
french fries
couple of onion rings
couple of buffalo wings
4 Sierra Nevada Pale Ale's
(6 pm/8 pm - Hula Grill)

2009-04-02T23:16:00.014-10:00

No class again tonight. =o(

But I did take measurements last weekend so I have some fun stats to share...

2/1/09
Weight: 223.0
BMI: 33.0
Bust: 43"
Waist: 38"
Hip: 49.5"
Bicep: 15"
Thigh: 24"
Calf: 16"

3/28/09
Weight: 211.0 - 12 lbs lost!
BMI: 31.1 - almost 2 points lost
Bust: 40" - 3 inches lost!!!
Waist: 36" - 2 inches lost!!
Hip: 46" - 3.5 inches lost!!!!
Bicep: 14" - 1 inch lost (x2)
Thigh: 23" - 1 inch lost (x2)
Calf: 15" - 1 inch lost (x2)

So I only lost 12 pounds in 8 weeks. However - thanks to the magic of Bikram Yoga - my body mass index dropped almost 2 points and I lost more than 14.5 inches!!! That is a cause for celebration. I wish that my waist was shrinking faster than my bust. But I can see that what I'm doing - however imperfectly - IS WORKING. ;))

17 & 18/60

2009-04-01T22:37:00.008-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #75
Sunday 6:30 pm w/ Kevo

Bikram Kaimuki - class #76
Wednesday 8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

So as you can see I missed a couple days in a row of yoga. I had a weird pinch in my hip that made it painful to even walk. Was it truly bad enough to miss class? Maybe on Monday, probably not on Tuesday. Oh well. My 60 day challenge is pretty much kaput. But I do want to make it to AT LEAST 120 classes before I leave 5/16 for my visit to the mainland. That's 44 classes in 47 days. So I will still need to do some doubles in order to make up for the 5 days I know I'll be off island between now and then.

I'd also like to reach 40 lbs lost - which means I need to step things up a bit. That's 6 weeks away so I believe it's totally doable. My diet has got to improve, though. More fruits and vegetables. No more fast food. Green smoothies every day. As a reward, if I reach 196 lbs or lower before I leave then I will get my first ever tattoo on my ankle while I'm in the Bay Area. I figure it's the perfect time since I'll be on vacation and it won't be too hard for me to stay out of the studio for a week or so. Staying out of the water will be a little more difficult, but that's the price I've gotta pay.

I apologize again for not writing so much lately. I am crazy busy at work these days. Hopefully, after our big event next next week my life should get a little bit back to normal. At that point I will resume working through Meditations from the Mat.

Best of luck to everybody in their challenges! I have the utmost respect for you who've done 30 or 60 or even 90+ days. Maybe I'll complete one eventually. Just not in the cards for me right now.

Today's Weight: 214.5(!!)

Today's Food Choices:
vanilla iced coffee
pancakes w/ margarine & syrup
(9 am - McDonald's)
6" tuna sandwich on honey oat
bag of Doritos
(3:30 pm - Subway)
chocolate chip cookie
peanut butter cookie
sugar cookie
(5:30 pm - work)
2 small brownies
(10:30 pm - home)

15 & 16/60

2009-03-28T21:48:00.011-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #73
Friday 6:30 pm w/ Kevo

Bikram Kaimuki - class #74
Saturday 4:30 pm w/ Jeremy

I brought my friend, Suzy, to yoga Friday and then she brought her friend, Anne, today. Both really liked it and signed up for the $30 intro special. They're going to try to come every day for the 30 days. Wow. Usually it's hit or miss with friends. My roommate who I brought over a year ago absolutely hated it. She tried 2 classes but then never wanted to come back. She is much more into the flow vinyasa style a la Bapiste. To each his own, though - you know?

Two solid classes for me. Lately, I have been getting my forehead much more squarely on my knee during standing separate leg stretching. Today I actually grabbed my knee on both sides during spine twisting. Got a compliment from Jeremy on my form in standing bow-pulling. That is probably my favorite posture. I can't keep my standing leg completely locked the whole time and I usually fall out after about 20 seconds in the full expression. But I am able to stretch my foot way back and over my head so I actually look pretty good in this pose. This excites me because I can see myself making it to a full standing split sometime in the distant future. I have a background in ballet and I used to be able to do the splits against a wall. That was years and years ago - but if I was able to do it at one time I am determined that I will get there again.

In addition I went swimming today at the pool by my house. I did 1100 yards at a leisurely pace - which is not really a lot for me. I want to work up to doing 1700 yards which is about a mile. It felt really good to be outside and to be in the water. Water energizes me. I love the smell of chlorine, too. I know that sounds funny but it reminds me of swim team. I did find that I was extra hot in yoga - probably from getting a little sun this afternoon.

We observed Earth Hour from 8:30-9:30 tonight by turning off all our lights throughout the whole house. We actually sat down and shared a glass of wine and conversation by candlelight. It was very nice. May try to make it a regular practice. Hawaii is a little apathetic, though. It didn't seem like many people here were willing sacrifice their electricity for an hour on a Sat night. Oh well. We put our good intention out there and that's what matters.

Today's Weight: 211.0

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ vanilla soy milk
kona chocolate chip pancakes
(11 am - home)
taco salad w/ lettuce, salsa, beans, rice, guacamole
served in a cripsy tostada shell
(6:30 pm - Cafe Mulvadi)
1 glass Calumbia Crest pinot noir
(8:30 pm - home)

13 & 14/60

2009-03-26T21:54:00.001-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #71
Wednesday 8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Bikram Kaimuki - class #72
Thursday 6:30 pm w/ Jeremy

I love Jeremy. He's probably my favorite teacher if I had to pick one. Not much to report from either class. Both were solid and neither too crowded. Last night I stayed in camel for the full time both sets - but I do that a lot these days, I'd say at least 2/3 of the time. Tonight I stayed in triangle for the full time both sides - which I've been doing about half of the time lately. I did - for the first time ever tonight - touch my knee in spine twisting on both sides. I kind of shifted the way I was sitting and what do you know? There was my knee. Exciting stuff.

I've been slipping back way too much into the dairy again lately. I read somewhere that milk has feel good hormones intended to increase bonding between the calf and its mother. These basically have the effect of an opiate on the human system. When people say that they are addicted to dairy - that actually has some physiological truth to it. And with cheese it's worse since it is a much more condensed product.

I know that I am so much better off going cold turkey. So tomorrow I will do just that. Again, butter will be the exception because it is a much weaker product since it's just the oil run-off. But even that has got to be in moderation. I will also try to step my consumption of fruits and vegetables way up and avoid processed food. That should get my weight moving in the downward direction again.

Today's Weight: 211.5

Today's Food Choices:
large vanilla iced coffee
cinnamon roll
(9 am - McDonald's)
falafalel w/ pita bread & hummus
Greek salad
(12:30 pm - Leo's Taverna)
8 oz Kombucha
(3:30 pm work)
2 small brownines
(8:30 pm - home)

11 & 12/60

2009-03-24T22:40:00.004-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #69
Monday 8:15 pm w/ Michele

Bikram Kaimuki - class #70
Tuesday 8:15 pm w/ Kevo

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I did not miss class. It's just that my work is going to be a little crazy for the next couple of weeks. WE're gearing up for one of our biggest events of the year. So I will try to post my classes and food but will have to keep the longer posts for the weekend.

Hope everybody's doing well in their own respecticve practices and challenges. ;))

Today's Weight: 212.5

Today's Food Choices:
large vanilla iced coffee
2 hashbrown patties
(9 am - Mc Donald's)
tofu & vegetables w/ long rice
(12:30 pm - Baile)
1 Ghiradelli's dark chocolate w/ caramel
1 Ghiradelli's dark chocolate w/ mint
(3:30 pm work)
1 piece home made manicotti
(6:30 pm - home)

9 & 10/60

2009-03-22T21:39:00.006-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #67
9 am w/ Jeremy

Bikram Kaimuki - class #68
6:30 pm w/ Noa

Two decent classes today. The AM class was uber crowded. I think they set a studio record or something. Jeremy was wonderful as usual. I don't like crowded classes so it was a little bit of struggle for me to make the best of it. I did get several compliments on my form, specifically in standing bow pulling and triangle. The PM class was almost too small - just 16 people. I tried to kind of cruise through cause I was feeling stiff and sore. Probably went a little too deep into my back in the first class. But I still had a good, focused practice without sitting out any postures.

Tonight Noa also commented that I have been really consistent in coming to class and how far I've progressed. Always nice to hear. She probably notices it more cause I only take her class maybe once a week or so. And it's hard not to feel like a rockstar when you've just completed 2 classes in one day. One double down and five more to go.

Again I am really beat so that's going to be all for today.

Today's Weight: 211.5

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ vanilla syrup & soy milk
Kona choclate chip pancakes
(12 pm - Cafe Mulvadi)
vegetable briyani
vegetable korma curry
naan bread
(9 pm - leftovers @ home)

8/60

2009-03-21T22:50:00.009-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #66
4:30 pm w/ Jeremy

Really strong class today. Jeremy is always a good teacher, but when he is on his game he is exceptional. Today was one of those days. The group energy was cohesive and he led us through a flawless dialogue. It wasn't until the end of the class that I found out that it was the fourth class that he had taught for the day. I never would have guessed. The room was super hot but the class wasn't too big. I held the full time on many of the postures - most notably triangle and camel. It could be my mind playing tricks on me but it sure seemed like my body was thanking me for taking a day of rest.

I watched "Rock of Love Bus" on the DVR tonight. It is my favorite trash TV. I just can't get enough. Like one train wreck after another that I am compelled to watch in some sort of horrified fascination. Besides that I don't watch a lot of TV. (At least not until the new season of Entourage.) Movies on Netflix - yes. TV - not so much. Last week I watched "Vicky Christina Barcelona" twice. What a fabulous movie. I think that I will have to add that one to the collection. Next in my que is Milk which I also can't wait to see. Again, such are the silly little things that make me happy these days. ;))

I am gearing up for a double tomorrow so I am going to stop there.

Today's Weight: 212.0

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ vanilla syrup & soy milk
mango macademia nut pancakes
w/ fresh strawberries on top
(11:30 am - Cafe Mulvadi)
vegetable briyani
vegetable samosa
vegetable korma curry
(8 pm - Cafe Taj Mahal)

2009-03-20T22:46:00.009-10:00

No class for me today. Which means I have another double to do in addition to the ones I already scheduled in order to make 60 classes in 60 days. =o(

I was planning to go to the 6:30 w/ KEvo. But had a friend invite me to dinner and to check out the new Target. At first I declined, but as the day wore on I changed my mind. I guess the pull of shopping w/ girlfriends got the best of me.

Hawaii just *finally* got its first 2 Target stores last month and there's been so much hype. Maybe it's cause I haven't been a regular Target shopper for the last several years. Maybe I just find ridiculously great bargains when I visit the mainland. Maybe this store is too new to have much clearance stuff yet. Maybe they are still in the process of stocking cuter, hipper merchandise. Maybe Target has just gone downhill. Regardless it was a big disappointment. It was nice to hang out with friends. But I sorta spent the whole evening wishing that I'd gone to yoga.

Today's Weight: 211.0

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ vanilla syrup & soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate filling
(10 am - The Patisirrie)
vegetable quiche
fruit salad - pineapple, melon, grapes
(12 pm - work)
green salad w/ carrots, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers
poppy seed roll w/ butter
(3 pm - work)
vermiccelli w/ veggie spring rolls, lettuce, & sprouts
(6:30 pm - Pho One)

7/60

2009-03-19T22:25:00.015-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #65
8:15 pm

I've only had this teacher (who will remain nameless) once before and didn't really like her class. Tonight was no different. Her energy is low and her voice is monotone. Her cues aren't very strong so everybody kind of goes into and out of postures using their own timing. By the time we made it to the floor I was pretty annoyed.

But then, laying in savasana, it hit me. To my warped mind she sounded a little like Mr. Garrison from South PArk. After I made that connection I had a hard time keeping a straight face. I kept mentally adding "Mmm Kay?" to the end of each sentence and just about cracking up. I am sure she is a lovely person but her style simply doesn't jive with mine. I'll do what I can to avoid her class but try to make the best of it if/when I ever have her as a teacher again.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and my weight was actually 206 on their scale. 206!!! That's 5 pounds lower than mine and fully clothed at that. I am still going by my scale cause that's what I've been using all along. But it certainly brightened my day.

And with that I will sign off cause I'm not feeling very yogi-like.

Today's Weight: 211.0

Today's Food Choices:
burrito w/ black beans, rice, lettuce, salsa, guacamole
served covered w/ enchilada sauce
(1 pm - work)
Itoen green Tea
2x Hershey's 100 calorie packs
(3 pm - work)

6/60

2009-03-18T21:35:00.007-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #64
6:30 pm w/ Michele

Tonight's class was freekin' HOT. Michele doesn't open the doors very much either. So I had one of those classes where I felt that my skin was melting off. I felt dizzy during several of the postures and I even contemplated sitting out camel completely. But then my work ethic got the best of me and I tried the pose for about half of the time in each set.

During class Michele told us that when she got pregnant with her son she stopped doing Bikram because she had, had a previous miscarriage. She let herself eat whatever she wanted and gained 60 lbs. Now Michele is not a big girl. If I had to guess I'd say maybe 5'4". And I think that I've mentioned before that she has *the* most incredible body. Like she could model Brazilian bikinis and get paid for it if she wanted to.

She told us that once she went back to doing Bikram every day she lost her baby weight in 4 months! This give me solid hope. I want to lose another 60 lbs or so. And the fact that she looks this good after losing 60 lbs makes me even more confident about what I might be able to accomplish with my own body through losing the total of 80-90 lbs that is my ultimate goal.

Back to meditation #25 and the idea of humility. Gates says that, "Our postures become the embodiment of the exquisite balance between holding on and letting go, action and nonaction, ambition and restraint." He is so spot on with this. I am working on finding this balance in every class. And I'm already seeing the effects spill over into my daily life. This is after just 6-7 weeks of regular practice. I am excited to see what will happen a year into it and 5 years and 10 and even more.

Today's Weight: 211.0

TOTAL OF 25 POUNDS LOST SO FAR

Today's Food Choices:
fresh pineapple
(10 am - work)
Teeccino w/ vanilla soy milk
(11:30 - work)
3 slices veggie pizza w/ garlic butter
(1:30 pm - work)
Snickers bar
bag of Fritos
Itoen green tea
(3:30 pm - work)
small bowl of rice w/ Earth Balance
(8:30 pm - home)

5/60

2009-03-17T22:17:00.001-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #63
8:15 pm w/ Kevo

Tough class tonight for me. Kevo sped through the dialogue cause it was St. Patrick's Day, the class was small, and I'm sure he wanted to go out and join the revelry. The limited rest between postures made it much more cardio-intensive for me. But I think my bigger issue was too much sugar again today. I felt nauseous and out of breath throughout the class. And I really wanted to sit out several postures - especially when it came to spine strengthen series. But I did not. ;))

I am pretty spent and still need to study more. So I'm going to cut this short. More insights on Meditation #25 to come another day.

Today's Weight: 213.0

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate frosting
(10:00 am - The Patisserie)
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, melon
Cranberry Jubilee trail mix
(12 pm - work)
green salad w/ carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions
sesame seed roll
(4 pm - work)
hot chocolate w/ soy milk
slice of coconut cake
(6:30 pm - Coffee Talk)

4/60

2009-03-16T23:00:00.010-10:00

MEDITATION #25

Bikram Kaimuki - class #62
8:15 pm w/ Michele

Good class again tonight. Very hot and steamy. I felt strong and even got a compliment from Michele on my standing bow. Chatted it up in the lobby after with a couple fellow yogi's - which I don't usually do. Michele asked how much weight I've lost and told me how great I was doing. Which, of course, I already know. But hearing it really made my night.

This is right in line with something that I have already been thinking about for the last couple of days. Sometimes I re-read my blog and feel like I sound terribly vain and ego-centered. I know, in all honesty, that I am certainly neither of those things. But sometimes I almost feel guilty for the glee I feel when I look in the mirror and see the slimmer, fitter body staring back at me.

It's sort of like I'm afraid that I will turn into some kind of brainless Barbie-doll type if I continue to lose weight and shape up. Yes - I do know how completely and utterly ridiculous that is. But somewhere in my childhood or adolescence I got it stuck in my head that it was bad or at least silly to want to look good.

Major news flash - I DO want to look good. We all do. And on the one had I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But on the other hand I feel on some deep level that I shouldn't care so much about my outward appearance. This is something I struggle with. Weird, huh? But also pretty typical of the contradictory messages we are bombarded with from the time we are very young.

That brings me to today's meditation which is about pride. Gates talks about how putting truthfulness into practice during yoga is an exercise in humility. But he also says that humility has two sides. There is the letting go of the good as well as the bad. But the aspect he discusses that really hit me is that humility is also the awareness that we cannot afford to play small.

I feel that this is sort of what I've been doing. For the last several years I've been kind of just hanging out. I've used the extra weight as an excuse not to go out into the world and interact more with people. I've used food to comfort me instead of dealing with my emotions head on. Today's Daily Om deals with this exact issue - using outside influences to numb your feelings. WOW. I am really getting a double or even triple whammy here. I think that I should revist this meditation again tomorrow because there is so much for me to contemplate and sit with.

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate filling
(10:00 am - The Patisserie)
green salad w/ tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, & onions
(2 pm - work)
8 oz Kombucha
(5:30 pm - work)

3/60

2009-03-15T21:50:00.005-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #61
6:30 pm w/ Noa

I got another body wrap today. Didn't do measurements, but I feel really slim. In yoga class I couldn't help noticing that the reflection staring back at me looked much thinner. ;))

Noa taught a great class. She is a tough little girl. She's really big on staying calm and in control between postures. I've often witnessed her call people out for drinking water and wiping their faces too much. Personally, I appreciate her reminders to "just breathe and act like nothing happened" especially after giving my all in a tough posture. I had a solid class. I even held both sets of Camel for the full time. And I almost held Standing Bow-Pulling for the full time in second set. Ahh, the small things that make me happy these days.

Speaking of which, I had a delightful lunch with my friend, Suzy, today. And yesterday I spent a lovely afternoon with my friend, Joy, who accompanied my to get my "nose job" as she likes to call it. I am feeling so blessed to have these two wonderful ladies in my life.

But now I really must study because I have an exam Wednesday. So I'm going to cut this entry short.

Aloha, Thanks for reading, and Namaste.

Today's Weight: 214.0

Today's Food Choices:
1 banana
Itoen green tea
(10:00 am - 7-11)
ginger soup
Thai vegetables w/ rice
Thai basil w/ red chili & tofu
(12 pm - Phuket Thai)
1 small brownie
(5:30 pm - home)
3 slices veggie pizza w/ garlic sauce but no cheese
(9:30 pm - Papa John's)

2/60

2009-03-14T21:03:00.025-10:00

MEDITATION #24

Bikram Kaimuki - class #60
11 am w/ Kevo

I had a great class today. Yes, Kevo is still my favorite even though he's the hardest. The more I take his class the better I get. It's not that the other teachers don't help me improve or try to push us in class. It's just that I always seem to work harder w/ Kevo.

In other news, I got my nose pierced today. It was kind of a whim, although I've thought about doing it on and off for quite a while. I wanted to celebrate losing 20 lbs for good. This is a nice little reminder that I am returning to my old self but at the same time I'm embarking on a journey to a newer, truer version of me. It is also a tribute to my funky and creative and rebellious side. And it was totally no big deal. It did bleed a bit cause it's on the face. But in all, was not that different from piercing your ear. I got a small diamond-looking clear gem stud. Very tasteful and delicate. I LOVE IT!!!

Having the courage to get my nose done made me decide that I'm *finally* going to bite the bullet and get the stay human logo tattoo on my ankle that I've wanted for years now. I think that I'll get it done when I reach 40 lbs lost. Hopefully, that will coincide with my trip to San Francisco after this 60 day challenge is finished. The tattoo will be my next little reward for myself and memento of the new phase of my life I'm beginning. I'm a little scared but also very excited.

Today's meditation talks about letting go of pretense and telling the truth about ourselves as part of the concept of satya. Gates speaks about, "holy moments when we come out of hiding and allow ourselves to simply be truthful with another human being without trying to be cool." I think that yoga helps with the ability to just be without pretense. But I still find myself needing to be cool. I do strive to be authentic above all else. But some days even that is a struggle. Interesting the many layers to an idea so seemingly simple and straightforward as "truth".

Today's Weight: 215.5 - before yoga
Today's Weight: 212.5 - after yoga ;))

TOTAL OF 23.5 POUNDS LOST SO FAR

Today's Food Choices:
green & peppermint combo tea
(10 am - home)
spicy veggie roll
tempura veggie roll
tempura shrimp roll
1/2 California roll
(2:30 pm - Sushi Man)
scoop raspberry sorbet
(4:30 pm - Bubbies)
2 glasses champagne
(7 pm - home)
pineapple, spinach, acai, orange juice smoothie
(9 pm - home)

1/60

2009-03-13T22:27:00.006-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #59
6:30 pm w/ Kevo

Well it's official. Tonight I started my first ever 60 Day Challenge. I also just found out that my sister and her family will be coming to Maui the last week of April. Which means I'll have to bank some doubles so that I don't have to worry about yoga when I go over to meet up with them for a long weekend. No matter. I am psyched to see them and I am psyched to complete this challenge. I've just got to plan ahead from day one.

I haven't had Kevo as a teacher in a while. And tonight's class still went surprising well. I didn't hold the super long version of camel. But I did try my best in all of the postures. I even held his long version of all 3 parts of Awkward - so I was proud of myself for that. And I wasn't completely dead tired by the time we hit the floor - so I must be learning to pace myself better. I may try to make his class again tomorrow. I sort of missed being pushed past my limits.

Looking at my food choices I just realized that I didn't eat any vegetables today. How did I let that happen? Wow. I really need to make sure that I get in at least one big green salad per day. I know my body needs it. Maybe I'll make a green smoothie tomorrow morning before I head out to yoga to try to start making up for the lack of live enzymes today.

It's been a long day so I think I'm going to crash. I will go into the next day's meditation tomorrow. I figure it'd better wait until I'm a little bit more articulate.

Aloha & Namaste

Today's Weight: 216.5

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate filling
(10:00 am The Patisserie)
fruit salad - pineapple, melon, grapes
3 oatmeal cookies
(1 pm - work)
bag of baked Chex Mix
Aloha Maid iced tea w/ lemon
(4 pm - work)
microwave popcorn
(9 pm - home)

2009-03-12T20:26:00.005-10:00

MEDITATION #23 (RE-REDUX)

I took a sick day from work today. I woke up all achy and feverish. Thought I might be coming down with something but it turned out just to be the return of my monthly friend. I've been crampy and bloated and really low energy all day. So tonight I decided to have a glass of wine or two and skip yoga. I don't think I could handle a Kevo class right now.

I have decided to start my first ever 60 day challenge tomorrow. Why wait a week til St. Patrick's Day? Time is of the essence. If I feel strong I'll keep going for a total of 64 days straight before my trip to the mainland. The goal is to make at least 120 classes prior to leaving. 60+ added to the 58 I've already completed for the year. Then I will plan to do 4 classes while I'm gone - most likely 2 at El Cerrito and 2 at San Rafael.

I am excited. I think that right now I really need the discipline that committing to a 60 day challenge entails. And I appreciate the advice and well wishes from those of you who have completed your own challenge. ;))

Back to meditation #23 in Gates' book. I've been thinking a lot over the last several days about being truthful in thought, word, and deed. This proves to be an area of difficulty for me. Which just means that I've got to work harder at it and give it more attention. I am noticing more when I'm not being completely honest or authentic - so I guess that's the first step.

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ soy milk & vanilla syrup
kona chocolate chip pancakes
(1:30 am Cafe Mulvadi)
breakfast potatoes w/ salsa & guacamole
(3 pm - home)
2 glasses pinot grigio
vegetarian samosa
vegetarian pakoras
vegetarian padum
(8 pm - Cafe Taj Mahal)

2009-03-11T23:11:00.005-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #58
8:15 pm w/ Michele

I was hurting in class tonight. I felt nauseous and dizzy from the first breathing exercise. It was also extra hot, so I knew I was in trouble from the very beginning. I cut a bunch of the postures short, but amazingly did not miss any of them.

I'm pretty sure I had way too much sugar throughout the day combined with not enough fruits and veggies. And to make matters worse, I didn't drink nearly enough water. But come to think of it, I also did not take my Yoga Body supplements or my Biomins - not even once - so that could have contributed.

Tonight in class Michele shared that her first 30 days of taking Bikram she used to throw up in the parking lot after class because she was detoxing so heavily. HMMM. I've puked after running or swimming but never after yoga. Tonight after class I felt the closest I ever have to yoga induced vomitus. I stayed in final savasana extra long and tried to breathe really slow and deep. I still felt pretty whacked when I finally did get up but didn't get sick. I took an EmergenC dissolved in water when I got home and that seemed to help a little.

Today I ordered vegetarian pho soup for lunch and when I got back to the office realized they had given me chicken by mistake. I didn't have time or energy to walk back over to Baile so I just picked out as much of the chicken as I could. I don't think that had anything to do with my evening nausea but who knows?

I am really exhausted so I will revisit meditation #23 tomorrow. Namaste and Goodnight.

Today's Weight: 214.5
(somehow just like that I'm back down again!)

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate frosting
(10:30 am The Patisserie)
chicken pho soup
(2 pm - Baile)
peanut butter bar w/ chocolate chips
hot chocolate w/ soy milk
(7 pm - Coffee Talk)

2009-03-10T22:31:00.009-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #57
8:15 w/ Jeremy

I really felt bad for Jeremy tonight. He came in to teach the 6:30 class as a favor and then the teacher for the 8:15 class didn't show up so he stayed to teach that one, too. He was not happy but didn't let it affect his dialogue. What a friggin pro - I am so grateful and more than a little bit impressed. He guided us through a solid practice like it was the first class he'd taught all day when in reality it was his fifth. He is totally my hero right now.

Makes me feel even more like shite for missing 2 days in a row of yoga. And I didn't blog yesterday, either so I am a little disappointed with myself. In my defense, I missed A & P lecture as well last night because I was feeling crappy. Not to mention it was raining and there were flash flood warnings for the entire island of Oahu. But I broke my cardinal rule. I realize that what matters is not how you fall but how quickly you get back up in the saddle. So I'm going to make this a 2 day slump rather than a week long one. Instead of berating myself I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on track like nothing happened.

I am actually thinking seriously about starting a 60 day challenge before my trip to California. I am inspired by reading the blogs about challenges you all have done or are currently doing. I've got between now and St. Patrick's Day to decide, which is 60 days out from the day I leave. For the time being I will try to get back to basics. I will go to yoga for the next 6 days in a row. Then allow myself one day off Monday 3/16. Then most likely start the challenge Tuesday 3/17. I will also try not to worry so much about food while still avoiding animal products. It's a tall order, but my success has everything to do with my attitude. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to do my best in every situation.

I've got to get back into the mindset that yoga is non-negotiable. Meat and dairy are also non-negotiable. I need to stop with the head games and little bargains I make with myself. The "I'll start fresh tomorrow and be super good" rationale that makes slipping up allowable. I was - no *I am* - doing really good. I'm well on my way to reaching my goal weight and getting my body into prime shape. But I've still got a ways to go. There is much more work to be done. I can't rest on my laurels. I've got to keep on keeping on. So that is precisely what I'm going to do.

Today's Food Choices:
hazelnut coffee w/ soy milk & sugar in the raw
banana nut muffin
(9 am Cafe 1132)
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, melon
(12 pm - work)
veggie burger
green salad
brown rice & peanut butter rice crispy treat
(2:30 pm - Umeke)
2x Hershey's 100 calorie packs
(5:30 pm - work)

2009-03-08T21:49:00.010-10:00

MEDITATION #23 (REDUX)

I didn't go to yoga class today. I was planning to make it to the 9 am but didn't get up early enough. I really wanted to go swimming, but it ended up raining off and on intermittently. Kind of a lame and lazy day. I spent a lot of time studying in between playing around on the computer. I did get laundry done and I gave Buddha a bath. So at least I was relatively productive.

I appreciate your comments about my "angry yogini" day yesterday. I am still a bit surprised at how strongly I felt over something that is so minor in the grand scheme of life. Today I began thinking about something that I've heard over and over in the past from several different sources: Whatever you project is what you get back. The world is a mirror, the people that get under you skin the most are the ones who reflect aspects of yourself that you don't like or don't want to face.

HMMM. It is certainly true that I am terribly afraid of being perceived as inconsiderate and/or rude. Maybe this lady was a reminder to me of what not to do in yoga class. Maybe I need to steer clear of that little part of me who relies too heavily on what I see reflected back in the mirror. But more than that I think that this was a good opportunity for me to release judgment and to stop thinking that I should be in charge of the universe. Because there lies an absolute perfection in what is. Not in what I think should be. Or in this case how I think someone else should act.

I've also been further contemplating the concept of satya. Gates says that, "As the layers of falsehood fall away, an intimacy develops with our own truth." Right now I feel like I am still disconnected from my truth. I'm very attached to my story and to my plan and to my identity as I see it. But what do any of these have to do with my truth? Yoga has helped me to feel more grounded in my body. But my mind still eludes me. It flutters about like a hapless butterfly, tossed to and fro on temperamental breezes.

My birthday is on the last day of Gemini, so according to astrology I have a lot of "air" qualities to me. That is one of the reasons that this yoga is so good for me. I need grounding. I need to work through stability and process. There is a comfort in coming to the same class and doing the same postures everyday. Now if I could just quiet my restless mind. Laying off some of the caffeine certainly wouldn't hurt.

I think that some of the mental chatter is a diversionary tactic so that I don't take a hard look at myself. There are a lot of aspects of my life that I am not happy with. I am working to change them day by day, but sometimes it seems like a really tough road. So my ego gets caught up in drama with external forces beyond my control. But I also think this means that the ego is running scared. It sees that I am serious about making lasting changes this time. And that I am following through rather than endless planning with no action. I believe that's why things like happened yesterday come up. But I am not going to be derailed. The next time I am in that room I will be even more focused. I will try my darndest to keep a tighter grip on my thoughts. And over time, with practice, it will get easier and easier. Until one day this is all second nature.

Today's Weight: 218.5

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ soy milk & vanila syrup
Kona chocolate chip pancakes
(10:30 am Mulvadi Cafe)
bag of Fritos
(2 pm - home)
vegetable briyani
vegetable curry
(7 pm - leftovers @ home)
microwave popcorn
2 small brownies
(9 pm - home)

2009-03-07T21:39:00.018-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #56
4:30 pm w/ Jeremy

I really didn't feel like going to yoga today. I took a nap after having a late brunch and didn't want to motivate. Boy am I glad that I did. First of all, I didn't break my no-skipping-more-than-one-day-in-a-row rule. Second, I felt great after. Third, it was quite a learning experience for me. During class I was in a complete funk, which I'll explain below. Class wasn't too hard physically but mentally it was difficult for me.

Let me just begin by saying that most of the regulars at my studio are truly wonderful. But there are several who kind of have a "yogi-er than thou" attitude. I get that they've been practicing for many years and they've seen people - both students and teachers - come and go, blah, blah, blah. That doesn't mean that they are any more important or entitled to be there.

One of this second type of regulars came in too late to take her usual place up front today. So she decides to set up next to me in the second row. I moved over a bit to give her room. But then she proceeded to inch over closer and closer to me after each posture so that she could see herself better in the mirror. No concern that she might be blocking the view of the person behind her. No concern that she could be invading my space. I scooted my mat over a couple of additional times because I felt like she was right on top of me. GRRRRR. Very annoyed.

All class long I was worrying about what was going to happen in full locust when we had to spread our arms to the side like a 747 taking off. Then getting into the posture the girl on my other side gave me a little smile and staggered herself forward. Problem solved. I staggered back and the annoying lady staggered forward. I had spent the entire 70+ minutes up until that point worrying about something that turned out to be a non-issue.

How is it that I could let my peace and good humor be disrupted so easily? I was seriously shooting daggers at this woman the entire class, wallowing in self-righteousness and indignation. Through it all I'm pretty sure that she was completely oblivious. It was only myself that got all worked up into a tussle. Towards the end of the class after the situation w/ full locust had been resolved, I started actively trying my very best to embrace compassion and even love. The only thing that worked to turn my thoughts around was for me to imagine my dog and how completely loving I feel toward her. (I posted the picture above to show you what I mean.) How could I continue to be angry when I had that precious face in my mind? Buddha- bazoodle to the rescue.

Once we hit the floor for final savasana, the teacher had barely stopped talking when this lady popped up and was stomping across the room to the back to get her stuff. But then she was gone. And just like that her type A, pushy, overbearing energy was gone too. At this point I was able to crack a smile and almost ready to laugh a little.

WOW. I am sure that I do things that irritate others while in class. But from now on I will try to be especially mindful not to disturb anyone's peace. And now that I've vented a little I will try to let all this go so that I can keep my own peace as well the next time something like this happens to me in class.

Today's Food Choices:
coffee w/ milk & sugar
macadamia nut pancakes
(12 pm - Big City Diner)
vegetable briyani
vegetable curry
vegetble samosa
(7 pm - leftovers @ home)
2 pieces veggie pizza
(9 pm - home)

2009-03-06T21:30:00.009-10:00

MEDITATION #23

Well I missed another stinkin' class. I got caught up at work until 6 pm and didn't have enough time to make it for the 6:30 class. And since there is no late class on Fridays I was SOL. Damn. This is the first week that I've missed 3 classes since I started this yoga journey. I don't like missing that many. Maybe I will do a double tomorrow to make it up because I *really* don't want to fall below 5 classes a week unless I'm either sick or on vacation. Six is the goal, five is passable now and then, but four just isn't enough while I'm in weight loss mode.

I think it is Susan Powter that says that you need to do an aerobic activity a minimum of 3x per week just to maintain. 4-5x per week will increase your metabolism. But 6x a week provides triple the fat burning benefits. Hence six is the magic number. I really enjoyed her book, "The Politics of Stupid" - btw. She has a lot of excellent insights about what it takes to replace over-fat and unfit with slim, healthy, and vibrant. I highly reccomend checking her out. I find her to be very motivational and real life.

On the bright side, I weighed myself this morning and I am actually down a half pound from a couple days ago. How the heck did that happen!?!! I feel like I've been on a little bit of a bender when it comes to eating lately. I've indulged in dairy a couple of times, I've been eating too much sugar and caffeine, I've been eating too late in the day, and I've been eating too large a quantity of food in one sitting. How, then, did I not gain? Is it that my body actually needs more calories due to my increase in activity? Or is my metabolism revved up so that I burn more calories or at least burn my food more efficiently? I do have to say that I'm eating far less than I did before starting on this path. The amount of food I got at Cafe Taj Mahal last night used to be 2 meals for me. Now I am able to stretch it to 4 and still feel like I'm eating a large quantity. Anyway, I am thrilled that I didn't go up. Hopefully I will be down again tomorrow.

Today's meditation introduces the second yama of satya or truth. I actually have a friend named, Satya, and I never realized what the word meant. Quite lovely, actually. Gates says that at first we will begin to practice satya from the outside in. He tells us that, "Little by little we notice and then drop our habits of embellishment, obfuscation, minimization, self-aggrandizement, omission, rationalization, and exaggeration." Oh really - is that all? This is a giant bugaboo for me. I hate to admit that I'm prone to every single one of these habits at times. But I guess that's the point. We all are. I need to replace my initial resistance with a willingness to be aware of these behaviors. And next a willingness to let each one go. Gates also says that eventually, once we get the hang of practicing the truth, then we will actually begin to live satya from the inside out. Oh, to see that day.

Today's Weight: 215.5

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
chocolate filled glazd doughnut
fruit salad - pineapple, melon, & grapes
(9 am - The Patisserie)
2 small bags of popcorn
12 pm - at the consumer fair I was working)
tostada salad w/ crispy fried tostada shell
beans, lettuce, rice, grilled peppers & onions, salsa
(2 pm - Just Tacoes)
vegetable briyani
vegetable curry
naan bread
(8 pm - leftovers @ home)

2009-03-05T22:42:00.015-10:00

MEDITATION #22 (REDUX)

Bikram Kaimuki - class #55
6:30 pm w/ Tom

I had a decent class w/ Tom tonight. I ate way too much today and really didn't want to go to class because of it. I started to come up with all kinds of excuses not to go. But my dedication triumphed in the end.

I was in a big hurry this morning so I slid into McDonald's instead of one of my usual am spots. Damn. Way too much dairy, again, in the form of a large vanilla iced coffee. My problem is that once I slip, I think it's OK to slip again. The first slip, no matter how small or seemingly unimportant, sets a dangerous precedent.

The rest of the day didn't go too badly. I was really craving nachoes for lunch but I got pho instead. I'd like to credit sheer will power, but this was at least in part because the line was out the friggin door at the Mexican place. But then I went and had another big meal after yoga. Too many calories too late in the evening. I will be sure to weigh in tomorrow in the morning to see how badly I've been affected.

Starting tomorrow I have decided that I need to get serious again. No more missing classes when I haven't scheduled myself to miss them. I am also going to stick to a much simpler menu that has me eating out only for lunch. And when I do eat out I will choose from just a handful of options. I am determined to get myself firmly, solidly back on track.

On another note, I've decided to postpone my trip to California. I was planning to go in March when I have spring break but that's a couple of weeks before a 150 participant student event that I'm in charge of. The way the planning has been going so far I know that I'm going to need to be here for last minute stuff that's bound to come up.

So I will be going to the Bay Area at the end of May instead. School will be finished and there isn't a lot happening at work during that time frame. That gives me 10 solid weeks to make some serious headway towards my weight loss and fitness goals before I go to see my family. I want to be trimmer and much more fit even than I am now. I can do this. I've just got to buckle down.

Another aspect of meditation #22 is that we are able to hear only what we are ready to take in. I've been thinking a lot about that today. Gates uses a great quote from David Allen to illustrate this point, "Information is always available, but we are not always available to the information." I guess that could be the converse of the old adage, "When the student is ready the master will appear." Pretty powerful stuff. And the manner in which I came to this yoga is a perfect illustration of the truth in it.

I actually took a hatha yoga class way back when I was just a couple years out of high school. I hated it and never went back. I came from a background of competitive swimming and classical ballet training and that particular experience of yoga was no where near as intense or results oriented or creative, etc... as I was used to in a workout. So I made up my mind that I didn't like yoga. Period. I took up distance running instead.

Fast forward 16 or 17 years. I read an article about Lisa Rinna and how she was a huge advocate of yoga. She was on Dancing with the Stars, and at 42 years old had a hotter body and more charisma than any of the 20 something professional dancer types. I wanted to know how she got that incredible physique. Amazingly, to me, she credited yoga of all things. The workout that I had decided wasn't hard enough for me. That was when I got my first inkling that maybe there was something more to the yoga stuff than my one experience of it. But I was still caught up with the notion that running was the most efficient form of exercise, even though I was no longer consistent with it and the pounding was starting to take its toll on my body as I gained weight.

A few years after that I stumbled upon the Bikram Studio in Kailua while looking for the bathroom upstairs from the salad place I was eating at. The studio was closed at the time but something made me grab a flier even though it was clear across town from where I live. That night I began to explore the BYCOI official website and something clicked in my head. A few days later I went in to try my first class at the Kaimuki studio.

I loved it from the first day and purchased a monthly unlimited pass. I went 4-5 days a week for a couple of months but then fell off the wagon due to long work hours. For the next couple of years I would go to class very sporadically. I'd buy a monthly one month and then take several months off. But I knew that there was really something to this yoga. The endorphin high was similar to running a marathon but the physicality of it, while difficult, was accessible.

I bought Bikram's latest book and read it cover to cover in one sitting. I even had it autographed when he was here in Honolulu promoting it. I purchased the audio cd version of the beginner class and went through weeks of practicing 3-4 mornings before work followed by weeks of not getting in a single workout. I started to read yoga blogs and especially enjoyed Jenn's account of Teacher Training. But still I didn't fully commit a regular practice.

I don't know what made me decide that 2009 was the year, but I am so thankful for whatever it was. I truly cannot imagine going back. This yoga has been a lifesaver for me. I didn't even realize how depressed and out of touch with my body I had become. Until - after just a few consecutive classes - it was like a cloud lifted and suddenly I felt the contrast of being grounded and at peace. I have embraced this as my new way of life. Yoga makes everything else work better.

It's nice to reminisce about the synchronicity of how it all came together. The information was available to me for a very long time but it is just recently that I am fully available to the information.

Today's Food Choices:
large vanilla iced coffee
2 hash brown patties
(9 am - McDonald's)
fruit salad - pineapple, melon, grapes
(10:30 am - work)
vegetarian pho soup
(1:30 pm - Baile)
Itoen green tea
2x Hershey's 100 calorie pack
(4:30 pm - work)
vegetable curry
vegetable briyani
naan bread
veggie samosa
(9 pm - Cafe Taj Mahal)

2009-03-04T23:04:00.010-10:00

Bikram Kaimuki - class #54
8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Another good class. I was dead tired all day long for some reason (hence the extra caffeine & sugar). Somehow I made it through A&P lecture and then a nice steamy Jeremy class. He even made me laugh a couple of times during postures which doesn't happen a whole lot. Good temperature, good pace, good vibe. Just an all around enjoyable class. And I held standing bow pulling for just a hair short of the full time on each leg during the second set - so I was kinda stoked on that. ;))

Thank you for your wonderful comments. It is so good to know that there are other like-minded people on a similar path. I love reading the blogs and being part of this lovely community. Each of you *honestly* are an inspiration to me.

I'm pretty much exhausted so I'm won't delve any deeper into yesterday's meditation until tomorrow. Goodnight, Aloha, & Namaste.

Today's Food Choices:
macadamia nut coffee w/ soy milk & raw sugar
cherry croissant
(9 am - 1132 Cafe)
portabello mushroom sandwich w/ pesto & roasted peppers
green salad w/ vinaigrette dressing
(1:30 pm - Umeke Market)
baked Chex Mix
Aloha Maid iced tea w/ lemon
(4 pm - work)
piece of coconut cake - OMG to die for!
hot chocolate w/ soy milk
(7 pm - Coffee Talk)

2009-03-03T22:11:00.005-10:00

MEDITATION #22

I decided to take another night off. I went to the grocery store after work and not straight to yoga class like I know I should. Because once I get home there's always a chance that I'll lose motivation. When I pack my stuff and take it with me in the morning then I have no excuse not to go to the studio. But lately I'm telling myself things like, "I'll go to 8:15 class because so and so is teaching" or "I don't like 6:30 class because it's too crowded." Bottom line - I'm much more likely to make it to class if I don't stop off at home first.

It also appears that my little slip up w/ the cheesecake the other night is still haunting me. I am totally breaking out. My back, my scalp, my forehead. It's ridiculous. I usually have pretty clear skin, but right now I am seriously detoxing from something. And the only thing that I've done that is significantly different is the dairy in that damn cheesecake. Just another indicator (as if I really needed yet another) that I should steer clear. It obviously does not agree with my body.

Today's meditation is summed in the concept that ignorance creates all other obstacles. The quote from Gates that struck me the most was, "I felt I could spend a hundred lifetimes just refining my own ability to have a good day." God, he could be talking about me. I see the progress that I have made but realize that there is an infinite amount more to work on. I am not perfect, non of us are. I comfort myself in the fact that at least I am aware of how far I still have to go. The learning and growing is never really over. This meditation has so many levels. I think that, once again, I am going to sit with it for another day to let the different facets percolate in my brain.

Today's Weight: 216.0

Today's Food Choices:
vanilla hazelnut coffee w/ soy milk
blueberry croissant
(9 am - 1132 Cafe)
burrito w/ black beans, guacamole, rice, lettuce, salsa
grilled and covered in enchilada sauce
Itoen green tea
(1:30 pm - Taqueria Ramirez)
Pasta Roni olive oil & vermicelli
w/ frozen veggies mixed in
(8 pm - home)

2009-03-02T23:05:00.011-10:00

MEDITATION #21

Bikram Kaimuki - class #53
8:15 pm w/ Michele

Tonight's class was pretty mellow. Nothing major to report. It wasn't too hot and Michele didn't hold any of the poses too, too long. Not a cake walk, but another semi auto-pilot class. There were several new students so she demonstrated proper form for quite a few of the postures - which is always a good reminder for me. My knee was still feeling a little weird but I powered through anyway. Fearlessly, but not recklessly as Kevo would say.

I also had a couple of the regulars comment to me how good I'm doing and that I'm looking much slimmer - which was a nice little ego boost. I realize that the changes are happening but it's especially validating when it gets to the point where other people start to notice. Gives me an extra ounce of motivation to keep up with what I'm doing.

Today's meditation in a nutshell is about learning to go where you have to go. Gates tells us that the obstacles in our path *are* the path. He also says, "Every time we stretch beyond our resistance and our fear we make a choice for life. And every time we choose life, we find that fear loses its grip on us." I just love that. Incremental choices, incremental changes. Actions that add up piece by piece, moment by moment. And before long nothing in my life will ever be the same as it was before I started on this journey.

Today's Weight: 216.0

Today's Food Choices:
cafe mocha w/ soy milk
glazed doughnut w/ chocolate frosting
(10 am - The Patisserie)
vegetarian spring rolls
Vietnamese noodles w/ lettuce & bean sprouts
(2 pm - Star Vietnam Pho)
strawberry, banana, apple juice smoothie
(7 pm - Coffee Talk)

2009-03-01T21:00:00.005-10:00

MEDITATION #20

No class for me today. My back was hurting a little and I decided to take the day off. I also went to Suddenly Slimmer to get a body wrap this morning. Not a lot of fun, but I feel like they can be effective when combined with a weight loss plan. Back when I was working for LA Weight Loss I'd recommend them for women who complained about the under arm waddle that often comes from losing weight. Now, mind you, I would always tell them that working out and losing the weight slowly are by far the best prevention for loose and sagging skin. But body wraps can certainly help. I am going to try to get 1 or 2 per month because they work to tighten everything up a little. I'm happy to report that I lost several inches today - most notably 2" on my hips.

In today's meditation Gates talks about how the yamas and niyamas may seem difficult to master at first glance but that they are really in keeping with our nature. He says that to live with these restraints and observances is actually a relief. He gives an example of how he began talking to strangers at the grocery store because he was thinking about the concept that we are not really separate from other people. He mentions that his fear of strangers has been an aspect of suffering in his life - which really rang true for me.

I find that in periods where I am confident about myself I tend to reach out to strangers a whole lot more. But I have not felt entirely good about the way I look for a long time now. I don't want to sound vain, but my self esteem is very closely tied to my appearance. Or at least to how I feel about how I look. I mean, I *know* that I'm a beautiful and interesting person on one level. But I don't feel like I'm presenting the true image of who I am when my body is fat and out of shape. By doing this yoga I am shedding the mask to reveal the real me. And as the layers come off my confidence increases and my personality becomes more expansive.

I slipped tonight and had a small piece of cheesecake. It has been sitting in our fridge since last Sunday when we had people over to watch the Oscar's and I didn't touch it for a whole week. But tonight I broke down and had a little piece. Which really wasn't that tasty - not nearly as good as I thought it would be. I need to remember this the next time I am really tempted. The food I think I want will rarely live up to my expectations. So I really need to weigh whether it will be worth deviating from my chosen eating patterns to indulge in food that isn't good for me.

Today's Weight: 214.5

Today's Food Choices:
Itoen green tea
(10 am - home)
peanut butter & jelly sandwich
15 baby carrots
(1 pm - home)
spaghetti w/ marinara sauce & frozen veggies
(5 pm - home)
piece of cheesecake
(8 pm home)

2009-02-28T20:42:00.008-10:00

MEDITATION #19

Bikram Kaimuki - class #52
4:30 w/ Kevo

I was really tired and low energy all day, but I drug my butt to the studio and had another great class w/ Kevo. I'm still a little surprised at how well I am able to do in his class these days. Because, in the beginning I was seriously intimidated by him. What a difference a couple of months can make. I held standing bow-pulling in the second set for the longest ever for me. I also held camel again for the full extended version that he teaches. Triangle I kept falling forward cause I was having a hard time keeping my balance. But overall a very solid practice.

Today's meditation talks a little more about ahimsa as the practice of not only listening to the voice of lightness but also "cultivating that voice, trusting that voice, acting upon that voice." Gates discusses the idea that the darkness sometimes seems to have a greater pull. I beleive that this is true especially in our society. It's almost cool to be negative and down on everything, but then considered naive to be always expecting the best. I do think that this is changing, however. Maybe we're finally arriving at a critical mass of spiritual warriors bringing love and light to this crazy, mixed up world we live in.

For some reason I am reminded of an excerpt from the Dead Sea Scrolls that a spiritual advisor suggested I use as a daily affirmation of the powerful truth about every one of us human beings:

I am that I am
I am the open door which no man can shut
I am the light that lightens every man that cometh into the world
I am the way
I am the truth
I am the light
I am the resurrection
I am the ascension into the light
I am the ascension into the light
I am the fulfilling of all my needs and desires of the hour
I am abundant light poured out upon all life
I am perfect sight, hearing, and health
I am the manifest perfection of being
I am the illimitable light of god made manifest everywhere at all times
I am that I am

Today's Weight: 213.5

TOTAL OF 22.5 POUNDS LOST

Today's Food Choices:
24 oz pineapple, banana, spinach, mint, almond milk smoothie
(10 am - home)
vegetarian stuffing w/ celery, cranberries, & walnuts
(1 pm - home)
spaghetti w/ marinara sauce & frozen veggies
(8 pm - home)

2009-02-27T21:11:00.008-10:00

MEDITATION #18 (redux)

Bikram Kaimuki - class #51
6:30 pm w/ Kevo

I had a solid class tonight with Kevo. I heard a rumor he's leaving which will make me sad, cause I probably have my strongest classes with him lately. Strongest in that I break new ground, find a new edge, push myself harder than I really want to go. Tonight I held camel, or actually I should say the long Kevo version of camel, for the whole time both sets. I felt dizzy when I came out and my heart was seriously pounding after the second set. But such a good feeling to have the mental discipline to hang in there *literally* for the whole time.

I've also been thinking a lot today about the idea of non-violence in thought, word, and action. The thoughts are where I trip up the most. I don't know why I think it's OK to rip somebody a new one mentally when I would never dream of doing it out loud. Who am I kidding? On a certain level they can feel my disgust, anger, frustration, etc... I need to try to be more compassionate. I need to be quicker to give the benefit of the doubt than to jump to conclusions. I need to send love to each of the difficult people in my life. I need to see them as their truest highest self. And I also need to be more compassionate with myself. We are all connected. We are all on the same path. We all mean well. We all are just trying our best to get through this dream called life. I am grateful to that this meditation brought all these things I already know back into the forefront of my mind.

Today's Weight: 214.0

Today's Food Choices:
24 oz pineapple, banana, spinach, mint, almond milk smoothie
(8 am - home)
vegetarian pho soup
(12 pm - Baile)
Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies
(3 pm - work)
8 oz Kombucha
(5 pm - work)
lavosch crackers
10 baby carrots
(9 pm - home)

2009-02-26T21:24:00.011-10:00

MEDITATION #18

Bikram Kaimuki - class #50
6:30 pm w/ Tom

WOW. I made it to 50 already. And another really good class w/ Tom this evening. I haven't had Tom as a teacher for a while and I was pretty much on cruise control tonight. I think that of all the teachers at my studio, I trust Tom the most. He doesn't keep us in the poses super long so I try to go to the full expression sooner and end up holding a lot of them for the whole time. That is a big confidence booster for me. Makes me feel like an old pro at this yoga stuff. Also my knee wasn't bugging me nearly as much as last night, which was a big relief. Hopefully whatever problem I was having is working itself out.

Today's meditation introduces the concept of ahimsa or non-harming. Gates says that this yama asks us to embrace non-violence at the level of speech, thought, and action. I strive to do this, but I am so not there yet. I like to think that I've got non-violence in action - especially respecting the lives of animals and not contributing to the culture of pain - pretty much down these days. That's one of the big motivators for me to adhere to my vegetarian and now mostly vegan diet. But non-violence in my speech and thoughts is more nuanced. Hmmm. This is something that I want to contemplate a little more deeply. I think that I will repeat this meditation tomorrow and see what other thoughts come up.

Today's Weight: 214.0

TOTAL OF 22 POUNDS LOST

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, cantaloupe & honey dew
old fashioned glazed doughnut
(10 am - The Patisserie)
big green salad w/ toasted sesame dressing
honey roasted peanuts & raisins
vegetarian samosa
Itoen green tea
(2 pm - Govindaji's)
8 oz Kombucha
(5 pm - work)

2009-02-25T22:20:00.019-10:00

MEDITATION #17

Bikram Kaimuki - class #49
8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Jeremy is awesome. I had a decent class w/ him tonight even though my left knee was really bugging me. I tried hard but didn't feel as strong as I have been lately. I've had an issue w/ that knee happening over the last few days and it's been slowly creeping up on me. Tonight in class it was the most bothersome it's been. I couldn't sit Japanese style without it hurting. And in fixed firm my hips were nowhere near the floor and I couldn't even lean back onto my hands because it felt like too much pressure. Not sure exactly what it is. Probably an old injury working itself out. I used to run a lot of miles and that takes a toll. Especially on the joints. I'm going to continue to back off those postures that don't feel right and see what happens.

I've also been a little melancholy here and there the last day or so. I've been thinking a lot about my Australian Cattle Dog, Marley. She was my faithful companion for 14 and a half years. So smart, so full of energy, really an incredible dog. I had to put her down this past August and right now I am missing her a lot for some reason. Don't get me wrong. I love my goofy poi dog, Buddha, beyond words. And I truly hope that she will be with me for 14+ years as well. But she isn't Marley. That one was so completely dedicated to me and only me. I got her as a little puppy just a few months after my dad died and she saw me through so very much. My life will always have an emptiness without her - which, of course, is also true about my dad. It's kind of like you get used to the pain of the loss but it never really goes away. Moments like this it is comforting somehow because it reminds me of the beautiful beings that have graced my life and made me feel so deeply.

Today's meditation talks about the first four limbs of yoga as love in action. The thing Gates said that really struck a chord with me is that each loving action we take infuses us with the energy to love more in the future. I guess I can relate this concept to what I've been feeling lately. Missing my dog. Missing my dad, too, because he's probably the most important person I've lost in my life. I know that I need to focus on the love. It might sound silly but my dad and my dog both loved me completely and without condition. Different kinds of love. But with both I knew that there was nothing that I could ever do to make them stop loving me. I think that my dad was the first person who made me feel that. And maybe Marley came into my life after he was gone in order to help me remember. Regardless, my capacity for love was increased by both of them. And I am forever grateful that I had each of them with me for the time that I did.

Sorry to go off on such somber tangent. Now I'm going to get all sappy & nostalgic and revert to The Samples, who express what I'm feeling so well in these lyrics:

Maybe nothing lasts forever,
Not the mountains or the sea.
But these times we've had together
They will always be with me.

Also found it on youtube if anybody wants to listen to the whole song:

Today's Weight: 215.0

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, cantaloupe & honey dew
honey roasted peanuts
(10 am - The Patisserie)
veggie & avocado sandwich on a croissant
Itoen green tea
(2 pm - Baile)
stone ground white corn chips
homemade hummus
baby carrots
(6 pm - home)

2009-02-24T22:40:00.010-10:00

MEDITATION #16

Bikram Kaimuki - class #48
8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

I *heart* Jeremy. He has a very calming energy and he seems like such a genuinely nice guy. It's weird, though... Now that I'm starting to master Kevo's class I feel like I kind of cruise through when I have one of the other instructors. Again, that's not to say that they take it easy on us or that I don't work hard. The classes themselves are just less intense. Today I held camel for the entire time during both sets for a second day in a row. I also held triangle for the entire time. The compression postures are really the hardest for me, largely because of the extra girth I have in strategic places on my body. However, I do find that I am able to get deeper into many of them. Ah, progress. It's all happening. Slowly but surely.

Today's meditation talks about the fact that many people come to yoga without a mature spiritual practice and so are initially missing out on a crucial part of it. In this regard I feel very fortunate. The main thing that drew me to yoga was the spiritual aspect. I love the fact that I can sweat and work my ass off for 90 minutes, achieving a similar endorphin high to running for that same time period. But even more than that I crave the integration of body-mind-spirit that yoga develops in me. I have never found this to the same degree in any other physical activity. Of course I'm constantly working to deepen my spiritual practice. Still, I feel ahead of the game in that I really *get* this amazing connection. Yoga serves to bring the rest of my spiritual beliefs - that were kind of floating out in space on their own - together in such a way that it all makes sense. And the sum is far greater than the individual parts.

I've commented before that my weight loss has been slower than I'd like it to be - but in a way that's not really true. I'm well aware that if the pounds come off slowly that it is far more likely that the changes will be permanent. I also realize that I'm doing this the right way. I am building muscle. I am sending fresh oxygenated blood throughout my entire system on a regular basis. I am making incremental changes to my diet that will all add up over the long run. For all of these reasons, I'm very happy with my progress. I *know* without any doubt whatsoever that I will get down to an ideal weight for me. It might take a year. But I am really and truly OK with that.

One of my sisters said something to me a while back that has stayed with me. She told me that when I was ready to lose the weight then it would just go. I believe that she's right. I have such an incredible wealth of knowledge about diet, exercise, health, fitness, etc. I've read volumes on these subjects over my lifetime. I even worked as a sales manager for a nationally advertised weight loss program. I know how to lose the weight, it's just a matter of putting what I know into practice. But beyond the physical logistics, there had to be an underlying reason that I let myself get so heavy in the first place. The weight had to be serving some purpose for me. So I have been affirming that I am willing to let go of whatever that might have been. I don't need to analyze it or root it out. I just need to be willing to release it. And eventually it *will* simply go.

Another sister and I (there are 5 of us - btw) decided to set goals for ourselves for the next 4 weeks so that we can hold each other accountable. So between now and March 23rd, when I head out to visit my family in the Bay Area, these are my health and fitness goals:

Replace morning muffin with fruit salad
Eliminate all obvious animal products
(w/ butter as an occasional exception)
Drink one green tea per day
Eat one green salad per day
Drink at least a gallon of plain water a day
Walk Buddha every day (30-60 minutes)
Bikram Yoga every day

Today's Weight: 217.0

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, cantaloupe & honey dew
(9 am - The Patisserie)
green salad w/ strawberry, mango, cranberry & walnuts
tomato basil soup
Itoen green tea
(12:30 - 1132 Cafe)
2x Hershey 100 calorie chocolate pretzel packs
honey roasted peanuts
(3:30 pm - work)
small portion pesto pasta
(6:30 pm - home)

2009-02-23T22:52:00.006-10:00

MEDITATION #15

Bikram Kaimuki - class #47
8:15 pm w/ Kevo

Another really great class for me. My goal was to hold camel for the entire time both sets. Low and behold - what do you know? I ACTUALLY DID IT!! I've got to admit that I was a tad slow setting up, but I freekin' held the pose for the entire time. And Kevo holds camel extra long, especially the second set. I am so ridiculously proud of myself right now.

It all began because today I read through an old post where I mentioned that I held camel until I thought I was going to pass out. Then I started thinking about the worst that could happen if I stayed upside down like that even after I thought that I couldn't. Would I actually pass out? Would I collapse backwards? Would I fling forward? I realized that the answer to all of those scenarios was probably "no" - so I decided to try it. I made up my mind to stay in that one particular posture for the entire time both sets just to see what would happen.

Holy cow talk about a breakthrough. I felt dizzy and nauseous and a whole host of different emotions. I even saw black spots for about 30 seconds or so after coming out of it. WOW. I set my intention, I tapped into my power, and I succeeded. Now I am going to have to try this with other postures I struggle with. ;))

Today's meditation talks about drishti or the concept of gaze point in yoga and compares it to the Native American practice of teaching their children active observation. Gates says, "Our yoga practice allows us to participate in this tradition. Our willingness to see what we are looking at allows us to perpetuate it." I really like this concept. Wayne Dyer calls it becoming the observer. This is something that can have tremendous benefit in all aspects of life. Look without judgment at what's happening and *really* see what you're looking at. So obvious yet so profound.

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
blueberry muffin
(9 am - The Patisserie)
bbq tofu foccacia sandwich
green salad
(2 pm - Umeke)

2009-02-22T22:17:00.011-10:00

MEDITATION #14

Again no class for me today. I didn't make it during the day like I should have. And then we had an Oscar-watching party at our house in the evening and I felt like I'd be rude if I left. No worries, tomorrow is another day. I had a couple of glasses of champagne and I probably ate a little bit too much. But I didn't have any meat or dairy, so I am proud of myself for that. I do feel like I've been missing class too much lately. For the next few weeks - probably until I head to California to visit in March - I am going to try to go every day to get my discipline and focus back where they need to be.

In today's meditation Gates talks about the importance of rest. He says that as we develop our yoga practice we can actually learn to rest in the pose. This concept is not new to me. When I swam competitively I learned to push really hard into the flip turn at each wall and then back off a little, stretch out and breathe while swimming back to the other wall. When I ran marathons I would alternate periods of time pushing myself with periods of time easing up or at least changing my stride while still running. I think that active rest is a crucial part of most endurance athletic activities. Yoga is no different. I need to learn to pace myself while still working hard. And more importantly, try to follow Jeremy's sage advice in/after every class: "Do your best and be happy with that."

Today's Weight: 215.5

Today's Food Choices:
24 oz pineapple, banana, spinach, mint, orange juice smoothie
(10 am - home)
leftover chocolate chip pancake w/ regular syrup
(12 pm - from Mulvadi Cafe)
cheerios w/ almond milk
1 small brownie
(2 pm - home)
4 slices veggie pizza w/ garlic sauce but no cheese
(6 pm - from Papa John's)
homemade hummus w/ lavosch crackers
homemade mango cobbler
2 glasses of champagne
(8 pm - home)

2009-02-21T19:20:00.013-10:00

MEDITATION #13

Bikram Kaimuki - class #46
4:30 w/ Kevo

Yes the day has come that I never thought would - I can say without a doubt that Kevo is now one of my favorite teachers. I had another strong class with him tonight. I even held triangle for the full time, both sides and both sets. I did come out of camel early, but that's at least partly because my back was hurting. And I did stay in until I felt like I was gonna pass out if I remained upside down another second. Overall I put forth a very good effort in all the postures tonight. I have to say that I like taking class from a lot of different teachers. It's good to experience a variety of people's individual styles. The dialogue is pretty close to the same every class. But the teachers add their own interpretation and personality to it. I gain unique insights from each and every teacher whose class I attend.

On another note, even though my weight loss has been less than spectacular I am definitely feeling thinner. I'm fitting into jeans that I haven't been able to wear since the beginning of last summer. A little bit more background... I stopped drinking diet soda in June of 2008. Prior to that I probably drank at least one diet beverage a day since I was about 11 or 12. The only periods where I didn't do this were during prolonged fasts here and there. So this was also a big deal for me. I got terrible migraine headaches for about 6 weeks. Now I get a headache if I have anything with aspartame or saccharin in it.

Anyway, when I initially stopped the diet drinks I switched to regular soda or tea with sugar and this caused me to gain about 30 lbs. I have since switched to plain tea or water. But to make a long story short... I am now fitting into jeans that I could wear before I gave up diet drinks and gained that additional weight. So even though I have only lost 20 lbs or so, I am fitting into pants that I wore when I was 10 lbs lighter than I am now.

I believe that there is really something to be said about the shrinking power of Bikram Yoga. Jenn from Seattle mentions this in her blog. With regular Bikram practice, your body actually condenses itself. Which makes sense when you take into consideration that muscle weighs more than fat but is more compact. I believe that I am living proof that this is true. I am shrinking in size faster than the number on the scale is decreasing. And it is all thanks to my regular visits to Bikram's Torture Chamber.

Today's meditation talks about the concept that what we resist persists. Gates says. "We do not have to succumb to the tyranny of our own self-judgment. We can observe our reactions with awareness, and let them go." My knee-jerk response to this was, "Yeah right, easier said than done!" But then I took a step back and became the observer of that reaction. I realized that, no - actually - it's *not* easier said than done. Just let it go without judgment. Simple. Perfect. Easy. And what a huge relief.

Today's Weight: 216.5

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz coffee w/ vanilla syrup & almond milk
kona chocolate chip pancakes w/ coconut syrup
(12 pm - Mulvadi Cafe)
4 slices veggie pizza w/ garlic sauce but no cheese
(8 pm - Papa John's)

2009-02-20T21:46:00.008-10:00

MEDITATION #12

Bikram Kaimuki - class #45
6:30 pm w/ Kevo

Another good class. So weird because when I first started I used to dread Kevo's class and now I actually look forward to it. I like that he pushes harder than most of the teachers. I like that he moves through the standing series quickly even while holding many of the poses extra long. I *really* like that he opens the door frequently. I'm sure that a big part of it is that I am getting better at pacing myself during his class. Tonight I think I might have pushed a little too hard in the spine-strengthening series because my lower back is feeling a bit pinched. But I still finished strong. Very nice.

In today's meditation Gates addresses letting go of judgment about our practice. He says, "As long as we stand apart in judgment, we sabotage the opportunity for connection and integration in yoga." This is something that I struggle with. I know rationally that I must release judgment, but I still hang on to it just the same. I am an analyzer. I like to pick things apart in order to see what makes them tick. I like to figure out why things happen. I especially tend to do this in my yoga practice and with my eating habits. The truth is that at the end of the day the "why" really doesn't matter. It only matters what you do in the next moment.

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
lemon poppyseed muffin
(10 am - The Patisserie)
large green salad w/ toasted sesame dressing
1 vegetarian samosa
(1:30 - Govindaji's)
fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, cantaloupe & honey dew
8 oz Kombucha
(5:00 pm - work)
stone-ground white corn chips w/ fresh salsa
(9 pm - home)

2009-02-19T19:43:00.007-10:00

MEDITATION #11

No class for me tonight. I had to go all the way down to the bank at Kahala to deposit my check after work and then went home to chill a bit. Now I'm just not motivated to get myself together and head back out to the studio. I'm also still on the very tail end of a little cough and sniffly nose - so I figure the rest will probably do me more good than harm.

Today's meditation deals with making your practice a priority. Guess it's a little ironic that I didn't make it to yoga, then. But overall I have been very good about making it an absolute priority in my life. Jeez, a couple of days a week I leave the house at 8 am and don't return until after 10 pm. If that's not dedication towards a higher purpose, I don't know what is.

Gates says, "By choosing to practice yoga, we are saying that our spiritual growth is important to us." Again this really resonates with me. My spiritual growth is definitely a priority. And because I am living this truth in my life right now, I find myself in a period of rapid evolution. I am changing on so many levels. I am assimilating new behaviors, ideas, and knowledge. Though on the surface things might not seem that different, my life is in the process of being completely transformed. It's very exciting and a little scary. But I embrace the changes because I know that I'm up for whatever this next stage brings as I accelerate towards my destiny.

Today's Weight: 215.0

TOTAL OF 21 POUNDS LOST

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
banana nut muffin
(9 am - The Patisserie)
portabella mushroom burger
natural salt & pepper potato chips
green papaya salad
(1 pm - Umeke Market)
8 oz Kombucha
(5:30 pm - work)
French bread w/ Earth Balance spread
(7:45 pm - home)

2009-02-18T21:42:00.023-10:00

MEDITATION #10

Bikram Kaimuki - class #44
6:30 pm w/ Michele

Tonight's class was another ass-kicker. I really like Michele. She is not only very sweet, but also gorgeous. She has a Brazilian accent and the kind of yoga body that is simply to die for. She's not really a hard teacher, but she keeps the room H-O-T. And she doesn't open the doors a whole lot. I seriously felt dizzy on and off throughout simply because of the relentless heat & humidity. Makes me realize how attached I am to the little bits of fresh air that most of the teachers give us here and there at strategic moments in class. That being said, I had a solid practice. The class was already crowded by the time I got there so I had to set up in the front. And that was also a little bit out of my comfort zone. Still I didn't sit out any postures - which is saying a lot because there was all kinds of sitting and laying down happening tonight in class. A couple of people even left the room. But I was able to push through.

I also had my second A & P exam today. I felt like I did really well - but when I checked my grade online, realized that I didn't do quite so good as I thought. Bottom line is that I wasn't adequately prepared. I think that from now on I am going to take a personal day on exam days. It is really important for me to do well in school in order to keep my nursing program options open. I need to get an "A" and the only way I can do that is to ace the next 2 exams and the final. So the pressure is on and exam days will be sacred from here on out. ;))

Today's meditation discusses readiness and its relationship to renunciation. Gates says that before we are ready to renounce something, renunciation seems like a pointless sacrifice. But then a shift in perception occurs and we are no longer at ease with our old ways. I feel like my yoga practice has facilitated this shift for me. I am now literally looking at every aspect of my life with new eyes. And I believe that the behaviors which are not conducive to my chosen path will begin to fall away. In fact, I can already see this happening.

One is drinking alcohol. I had a glass of wine tonight - but just one. And this is the first glass of wine that I've had in weeks. Since the beginning of the new year and my yoga journey I can count on one hand the number of alcoholic beverages I have consumed. I had 2 beers watching the Superbowl with friends who were visiting from the mainland on 2/01/09 and I had one glass of wine at a company dinner on 1/08/09. This is a big deal for me. I used to have a couple of glasses of wine, or a beer or two, pretty much every night. And on weekends I'd have more like 3 or 4. It's weird but that just doesn't appeal to me anymore. I had one glass of wine and I *really* enjoyed it. But I don't feel the need to keep mindlessly drinking just because it's there.

The same shift is also happening for me with food but a little more gradually. I am trying to really think about every little thing that I put into my mouth and how it will affect me later. Again, this is a major shift for me. Or at least a shift from my recent approach to food. And I know that it has happened because of my decision to start on this path of yoga.

Today's Weight: 216.5

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
bran muffin
(9 am - The Patisserie)
tofu & veggie summer rolls w/ peanut sauce
tossed green salad w/ vinaigrette dressing
(2 pm - Baile)
6 pack of Oreo cookies
(5:30 pm - snack from the vending machine @ KCC)
1 glass really good Riesling
2 bites garlic rice from Little Village
(9 pm - home)

2009-02-17T23:03:00.004-10:00

MEDITATION #9

Bikram Kaimuki - class #43
8:15 pm w/ Jeremy

Tonight I had a pretty good class. I sorta felt like I had to pee about halfway through, which made for an interesting floor series. But I didn't leave the room. And I did almost straighten my leg completely on both sides of floor head to knee stretching. Nothing fantastic, but nothing terrible either. Just an overall decent class.

My goals for the rest of this week are to drink *at least* a gallon of water every day and to eliminate all obvious animal products. I am trying to drink my water between meals and not with them because I understand that is better for digestion. Moving forward I am also going to list the times I'm eating in order to see if there's a pattern worth noting. And I am going to try to be better about taking my supplements. I have been pretty religious about taking the nano silver and chaga both AM & PM as well as the Yoga Body at least an hour before class, but I need to keep up with my schedule for the rest of them as well.

Today's meditation is pretty deep. It talks about abhyasa which loosely translated means practice. But Gates tells us that abhyasa is also the attitude with which practice is approached and that aspect of it is unconditional. In his words, "It is the dedicated, unswerving application of what you believe in." I don't know that I have reached that point in any facet of my life. But it is certainly something that I strive for. I have moments of surrendering to the process, but these are interspersed with periods of trying too hard to make life look like I think it should. So this is an area where I need work. And my willingness is enough to get me started on the path to getting there someday.

Today's Weight: 218.5

Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
macadamia nut muffin
(10 am - The Patisserie)
veggie & avocado sandwich on a croissant
(2 pm - Baile)
24 oz pineapple, banana, spinach, mint, orange juice smoothie
(6 pm - home)

2009-02-16T19:14:00.007-10:00

MEDITATION #8

Bikram Kaimuki - class #42
9:00 am w/ Noa

When I got up this morning I was thinking that I'd go for a double, but now I'm just not feeling it. Noa's class this morning was difficult for me. It was really crowded and I was getting annoyed by every little thing. The lady next to me sighing and constantly wiping her face. The girl behind me hitting my feet every time she got ready to do a situp. The horrible, rotten-milk smell that seemed to be coming from the carpet directly beneath my mat. Even Noa moving around on the stage and blocking my view of the mirror. It got to the point where I finally realized that all these people weren't trying to be assholes on purpose and that it had to be me. And I tried to let it go. But it was just one of those days when I couldn't do it. Oh well. I was hoping to head back for Tom's class and redeem myself, but I've had a low-grade headache all afternoon. So I think I'm better off skipping it.

I also think that I need to let go of the 60 in 60 goal. At least for now. I have been doing really well. I have not missed more than one day in a row since I started this practice. I'm 5 classes behind right now and don't think that I'll be able to pull off 5 doubles in the next 2 weeks. Not to say that I won't attempt to do this again. But for the time being I need to acknowledge the tremendous gains that I have made and focus on getting rid of this cold once and for all.

Today's meditation is about letting go of the things that hold us back. Gates says that when we make a commitment to our practice, then the obstacles to our progress suddenly come into clear focus. I do feel this happening to me. That is one of the reasons I realize that I have got to give up dairy. I am not going to be the healthy, vibrant, yoga goddess that I know I am capable of becoming while still eating gobs of cheese all the time. Dairy makes me foggy. It causes frequent colds and makes losing weight a lot more difficult. And I am sure that there will be other things that I discover I need to relinquish as the time goes by. The yoga practice kind of puts everything into perspective for me. It gives me a new standard to live up to.

Today's Weight: 219.5 - before yoga
Today's Weight: 217.0 - after yoga ;))

Today's Food Choices:
1 apple
24 oz pineapple, banana, spinach, mint, orange juice smoothie
4 piece falafalel w/ pita bread, hummus and hot sauce
large portion of garlic fries
Greek salad - no cheese
15 baby carrots

2009-02-15T20:32:00.006-10:00

MEDITATION #7

I didn't go to yoga class today. In fact I spent most of the day sleeping. I was up a good part of the night coughing so I guess I needed the rest. I did take Buddha to the park in the late afternoon. But other than that I really didn't do a damn thing today. I may still try to do a double tomorrow, but will have to play it by ear depending on how I feel.

Today's meditation addresses the idea that we cannot save the world without saving ourselves first. Gates says, "Many of us have spent years trying to ameliorate the world's suffering without first confronting our own." This concept also really rings true for me. Already from doing yoga consistently over the last several weeks I feel like I'm "showing up" more in my everyday life. I feel like I have been more productive on my job. I feel like I am more pleasant and patient in my daily interactions. I am also more present with the people I care about, even while I have less time to spend with them. Quality over quantity - right?

Most importantly, though I find that I am being more patient with myself. That's what today was about. I felt under the weather and tired and crampy. So I gave myself permission to relax and lounge in bed all day long. Tomorrow is another day but for tonight I am going to continue to take it easy and not worry that I didn't accomplish everything that I wanted to do. Today was all about getting healthy again. The task list can wait till I'm feeling better.

Today's Weight: 216.0

Today's Food Choices:
2 apples
Teeccino Maya Chai w/ almond milk & stevia
4 slices veggie pizza - no cheese
(leftover from Papa John's)
vegetarian pho soup
(leftover from SuperPho)
15 baby carrots
1 small brownie

2009-02-14T22:05:00.015-10:00

MEDITATION #6 (REDUX)

Bikram Kaimuki - class #41
4:30 pm w/ Kevo

I decided to repeat Day Six because I wanted to contemplate the message a little further. To paraphrase: If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. I need to make a new beginning. I need to live a life in harmony with my belief system. Doing the yoga and eating crap isn't going to cut it for me anymore. I don't promise that I will never slip, but I do promise that I will try my best not to.

Let me regress with a little bit of history about me. I was a vegetarian for 10+ years. Not a very healthy vegetarian. I still ate seafood and fried foods pretty regularly. And way, way too much dairy, especially cheese. Besides that I've often been an emotional eater, using food to numb feelings that I couldn't or didn't want to deal with. I haven't always been heavy. There have been periods where I was very thin but only with a lot of exercise and pretty tight control over my eating habits. And something always seemed to happen and I'd turn to food as a coping mechanism. The last several years I have not been vegetarian and my eating has been pretty much out of control. I guess I sort of gave up on myself for a while.

I realize that I need to re-work my entire relationship to food. I do feel like I'm already starting to - the yoga has helped tremendously with that. But it is time for me to give up dairy once and for all. It's bad for me. I know it. I function so much better without it. And I need to give up animal products as well. I don't want to be ingesting the energy of pain and suffering, not to mention all the chemicals and hormones in our meat supply. I need to try my very best to live a cruelty free life. I've also got to give up the idea that it will ever be easy. I have to let go of the notion that I'll get to a place where I can eat whatever I want, because it isn't going to happen.

Reading this lesson in Gates' book made something click in my head. I can't pretend anymore. It is time for me to align my beliefs with my actions. And I need to start in the most basic of ways with the food I put into my mouth. I can longer give my money to corporations, like McDonalds, that I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt are so completely 180 degrees at odds with my belief system. It is time to very literally put my money where my mouth is. And I can no longer continue to put shitty food into my body. I am working so hard to clean out all the junk that's accumulated over years. It's completely counter-productive for me to pour more of the same crap into a clean system. So today I am once again a vegetarian. I did have a little dairy, but will make a serious effort to eliminate all of it from my diet. I will continue to focus on eating mindfully and with control.

Well besides all of that, I had another really good class with Kevo. Gauging from the heavy breathing and the grunting & groaning through the class, I really don't think he's gotten any easier. Which can only mean that I am getter stronger. Me... 41 years old... 60-70 lbs overweight... fighting off a cold for the last few days. The one who's only a little over a month into this regular practice. And who started her period today - sorry if that's too much information. But I'm just saying... *I* made it through "the sargeant's" class without sitting out any postures. And I felt pretty strong when we hit the floor. I even held the second set of camel the longest that I think I've ever held it. Who knew that I had all that strength and discipline!? Before long I'll be saying that Kevo is one of my favorites. But for now I am just thankful that I am open to being pushed past my comfort zone.

Today's Weight: 217.0

Today's Food Choices:
chocolate chip pancakes w/ Earth Balance vegan spread & coconut syrup
large cappuccino w/ vanilla syrup and reduced fat milk
(from Cafe Mulvadi)
FuManChew lemonade made w/ maple syrup & cayenne pepper
4 slices veggie pizza w/ garlic sauce but NO CHEESE
(from Papa John's)
1 small brownie

2009-02-13T21:30:00.001-10:00

MEDITATION #6

Bikram Kaimuki - class #40
6:30 pm w/ Kevo

I had another really good class tonight. I am actually pretty darn proud of myself. The nice thing about having a hard teacher is how fantastic it feels when you improve to the point where their class gets less hard. That is what happened tonight. I didn't struggle nearly as much as I usually do in Kevo's class. It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. It was just much smoother and I didn't feel like I was gonna die by the time we hit the floor. ;))

Today's meditation was such a powerful message for me. It talks about the twin paths of practice and renunciation. Gates says, "Renunciation on its own has no staying power. You can renounce bananas all you like, but if you continue to live in your banana home on your banana street, if you keep your job at the banana warehouse and hang out with your banana-gobbling friends, you'll be eating bananas before you know it." WOW! No fucking shit. Then he goes on to say, "Practice is doing the work. It is following up the intention with action." Profound. This applies to so many areas of my life. Hmmm. I think I'm going to let his words digest a bit and revisit them tomorrow.

On that note - new plan. I have not been able to motivate myself to get up once this week to do the Baptiste video. So I think I am just going to focus on Bikram for now. I feel like I should mention that I also walk my dog, Buddha, every morning before I go to work. I usually take her out for 30-60 minutes Mon-Fri and then to the dog park on the weekends. I've had a really tough time getting up extra early to do a yoga video in addition. And it's a much bigger priority for me to get her out and exercised before I leave her alone all day. With the craziness of my schedule it's better for me to let go of this particular goal for the time being.

That being said, I am going to try to finish up 60 Bikram classes in 60 days. Today is day 44 and I've done 40 classes so far. If I do 4 doubles and don't miss any classes out of the next 16 days, I am there. I'm planning a double tomorrow (Sat), a double on President's Day (Mon), and then a double on each of the following 2 Sundays. As long as I beat this sinus thing by tomorrow I can totally handle that. If not, then my backup plan is to do doubles both Sat & Sun for the last 2 weekends in February. Piece of cake. Not exactly the sixty in sixty that Bikram advocates but close enough for my first time around.

Today's Weight: 218.5

Today's Food Choices:
Egg McMuffin sandwich
hash brown patty
large vanilla iced coffee
(McDonald's - I am going to have to look more closely at this addiction)
9 Hershey's kisses
4 chicken rolled tacoes w/ cheese, guacamole, sour cream, salsa & lettuce
(from Just Tacoes)
1 small brownie still hot from the oven

2009-02-12T21:10:00.001-10:00

MEDITATION #5

Bikram Kaimuki - class #39
6:30 pm w/ Tom

I had a surprisingly decent class tonight. I didn't sleep very well last night and was a little bit cracked out all day from taking an Allegra this morning. But it seems that when Tom is teaching I have more good classes than bad. I held most of the postures for longer than normal for me and still felt pretty strong all the way through to the end.

I was up 4 lbs at this morning's weigh in, though. Which was probably from all the sodium in the pho I had in the evening. I know better. When I stop eating by 6:30 pm - or 7 at the latest - I almost always lose weight. When I don't, I either stay the same or I gain. So from here on out I will do my best to have all my major calories before going to evening yoga class. I will keep up with the Kombucha afterwards and maybe even a piece of fruit here and there if I'm really hungry. But never a full meal this late in the evening.

I also feel like I need to give myself a little bit of a pat on the back for what I am trying to accomplish. No getting around it - I am pretty darn heavy right now. I am tall (5'9") so I carry it relatively well, but 200+ pounds is still way too big for my frame. So I need to give myself proper credit for making it through Bikram class without sitting out or leaving the room. 90 minutes of strenuous poses in a heated room is hard at a normal weight. At my weight it's downright heroic. I feel that a good weight for me is somewhere between 140-150 pounds. But I will be ecstatic even to get down to 160. It will happen. I have complete and total confidence. I just need to keep going to class and let the yoga work its magic. I also need to be conscious of what I'm eating and keep the faith that the changes are happening at a microscopic level. Those little changes will gradually add up to huge changes that are impossible not to notice.

Today's meditation talks about how to deal with negative behavior. Gates suggests not to fight it, but to focus instead on positive behavior. It's like the old adage - whatever you think about expands. If you are constantly dwelling on what's bad then you are inadvertently drawing more of it into your life. Instead focus on the good and on what you do want more of. And before long that very thing will show up for you in ever greater quantities.

Today's Weight: 220.0

Today's Food Choices:
egg spinach & feta wrap
grande caramel macchiato
(Starbucks)
veggie & avocado sandwich on a croissant
small bag sour cream & onion potato chips
(from Baile)
8 oz Kombucha

2009-02-11T20:29:00.001-10:00

MEDITATION #4

I didn't go to yoga this evening because I was having a pretty bad allergy, sinus thing happening for the latter part of the day. I did make it to my A&P class but then stopped to get pho and went home. Seems like I made the right decision cause I am still having a very hard time breathing. Going to take some Benadryl and go to bed. Tomorrow's another day and I hope that I feel better then.

In today's meditation Gates says to let your practice be the canoe - to get in and then shove off shore. He also says, "Let your practice be a refuge from your need to control." I've often heard Jeremy and Kevo say not to think during class but to let them do the thinking for you for 90 minutes. I do try to go with the flow and to let the practice take me where it will. But I will try even harder to relinquish thinking that I know what's best or what I'm capable of doing in a given class. And instead try to surrender and just relax into the process.

Today's Weight: 216.0

TOTAL OF 20 POUNDS LOST

Today's Food Choices:
Egg McMuffin sandwich
hash brown patty
large vanilla iced coffee
(alas, from McDonald's - but 730 calories vs. 990)
scoop yellow curry w/ tofu & vegetables
small piece veggie lasagna
small salad w/ raisins & sunflower seeds
scoop white rice w/ Bragg's Amino Acids
lentil & vegetable soup
(from Govindaji's)
9 Hershey's kisses
vegetarian pho soup
(from SuperPho)
8 oz Kombucha