MEDITATION #22 (REDUX)

Bikram Kaimuki - class #55
6:30 pm w/ Tom

I had a decent class w/ Tom tonight. I ate way too much today and really didn't want to go to class because of it. I started to come up with all kinds of excuses not to go. But my dedication triumphed in the end.

I was in a big hurry this morning so I slid into McDonald's instead of one of my usual am spots. Damn. Way too much dairy, again, in the form of a large vanilla iced coffee. My problem is that once I slip, I think it's OK to slip again. The first slip, no matter how small or seemingly unimportant, sets a dangerous precedent.

The rest of the day didn't go too badly. I was really craving nachoes for lunch but I got pho instead. I'd like to credit sheer will power, but this was at least in part because the line was out the friggin door at the Mexican place. But then I went and had another big meal after yoga. Too many calories too late in the evening. I will be sure to weigh in tomorrow in the morning to see how badly I've been affected.

Starting tomorrow I have decided that I need to get serious again. No more missing classes when I haven't scheduled myself to miss them. I am also going to stick to a much simpler menu that has me eating out only for lunch. And when I do eat out I will choose from just a handful of options. I am determined to get myself firmly, solidly back on track.

On another note, I've decided to postpone my trip to California. I was planning to go in March when I have spring break but that's a couple of weeks before a 150 participant student event that I'm in charge of. The way the planning has been going so far I know that I'm going to need to be here for last minute stuff that's bound to come up.

So I will be going to the Bay Area at the end of May instead. School will be finished and there isn't a lot happening at work during that time frame. That gives me 10 solid weeks to make some serious headway towards my weight loss and fitness goals before I go to see my family. I want to be trimmer and much more fit even than I am now. I can do this. I've just got to buckle down.

Another aspect of meditation #22 is that we are able to hear only what we are ready to take in. I've been thinking a lot about that today. Gates uses a great quote from David Allen to illustrate this point, "Information is always available, but we are not always available to the information." I guess that could be the converse of the old adage, "When the student is ready the master will appear." Pretty powerful stuff. And the manner in which I came to this yoga is a perfect illustration of the truth in it.

I actually took a hatha yoga class way back when I was just a couple years out of high school. I hated it and never went back. I came from a background of competitive swimming and classical ballet training and that particular experience of yoga was no where near as intense or results oriented or creative, etc... as I was used to in a workout. So I made up my mind that I didn't like yoga. Period. I took up distance running instead.

Fast forward 16 or 17 years. I read an article about Lisa Rinna and how she was a huge advocate of yoga. She was on Dancing with the Stars, and at 42 years old had a hotter body and more charisma than any of the 20 something professional dancer types. I wanted to know how she got that incredible physique. Amazingly, to me, she credited yoga of all things. The workout that I had decided wasn't hard enough for me. That was when I got my first inkling that maybe there was something more to the yoga stuff than my one experience of it. But I was still caught up with the notion that running was the most efficient form of exercise, even though I was no longer consistent with it and the pounding was starting to take its toll on my body as I gained weight.

A few years after that I stumbled upon the Bikram Studio in Kailua while looking for the bathroom upstairs from the salad place I was eating at. The studio was closed at the time but something made me grab a flier even though it was clear across town from where I live. That night I began to explore the BYCOI official website and something clicked in my head. A few days later I went in to try my first class at the Kaimuki studio.

I loved it from the first day and purchased a monthly unlimited pass. I went 4-5 days a week for a couple of months but then fell off the wagon due to long work hours. For the next couple of years I would go to class very sporadically. I'd buy a monthly one month and then take several months off. But I knew that there was really something to this yoga. The endorphin high was similar to running a marathon but the physicality of it, while difficult, was accessible.

I bought Bikram's latest book and read it cover to cover in one sitting. I even had it autographed when he was here in Honolulu promoting it. I purchased the audio cd version of the beginner class and went through weeks of practicing 3-4 mornings before work followed by weeks of not getting in a single workout. I started to read yoga blogs and especially enjoyed Jenn's account of Teacher Training. But still I didn't fully commit a regular practice.

I don't know what made me decide that 2009 was the year, but I am so thankful for whatever it was. I truly cannot imagine going back. This yoga has been a lifesaver for me. I didn't even realize how depressed and out of touch with my body I had become. Until - after just a few consecutive classes - it was like a cloud lifted and suddenly I felt the contrast of being grounded and at peace. I have embraced this as my new way of life. Yoga makes everything else work better.

It's nice to reminisce about the synchronicity of how it all came together. The information was available to me for a very long time but it is just recently that I am fully available to the information.


Today's Food Choices:
large vanilla iced coffee
2 hash brown patties
(9 am - McDonald's)
fruit salad - pineapple, melon, grapes
(10:30 am - work)
vegetarian pho soup
(1:30 pm - Baile)
Itoen green tea
2x Hershey's 100 calorie pack
(4:30 pm - work)
vegetable curry
vegetable briyani
naan bread
veggie samosa
(9 pm - Cafe Taj Mahal)