MEDITATION #10

Bikram Kaimuki - class #44
6:30 pm w/ Michele

Tonight's class was another ass-kicker. I really like Michele. She is not only very sweet, but also gorgeous. She has a Brazilian accent and the kind of yoga body that is simply to die for. She's not really a hard teacher, but she keeps the room H-O-T. And she doesn't open the doors a whole lot. I seriously felt dizzy on and off throughout simply because of the relentless heat & humidity. Makes me realize how attached I am to the little bits of fresh air that most of the teachers give us here and there at strategic moments in class. That being said, I had a solid practice. The class was already crowded by the time I got there so I had to set up in the front. And that was also a little bit out of my comfort zone. Still I didn't sit out any postures - which is saying a lot because there was all kinds of sitting and laying down happening tonight in class. A couple of people even left the room. But I was able to push through.

I also had my second A & P exam today. I felt like I did really well - but when I checked my grade online, realized that I didn't do quite so good as I thought. Bottom line is that I wasn't adequately prepared. I think that from now on I am going to take a personal day on exam days. It is really important for me to do well in school in order to keep my nursing program options open. I need to get an "A" and the only way I can do that is to ace the next 2 exams and the final. So the pressure is on and exam days will be sacred from here on out. ;))

Today's meditation discusses readiness and its relationship to renunciation. Gates says that before we are ready to renounce something, renunciation seems like a pointless sacrifice. But then a shift in perception occurs and we are no longer at ease with our old ways. I feel like my yoga practice has facilitated this shift for me. I am now literally looking at every aspect of my life with new eyes. And I believe that the behaviors which are not conducive to my chosen path will begin to fall away. In fact, I can already see this happening.

One is drinking alcohol. I had a glass of wine tonight - but just one. And this is the first glass of wine that I've had in weeks. Since the beginning of the new year and my yoga journey I can count on one hand the number of alcoholic beverages I have consumed. I had 2 beers watching the Superbowl with friends who were visiting from the mainland on 2/01/09 and I had one glass of wine at a company dinner on 1/08/09. This is a big deal for me. I used to have a couple of glasses of wine, or a beer or two, pretty much every night. And on weekends I'd have more like 3 or 4. It's weird but that just doesn't appeal to me anymore. I had one glass of wine and I *really* enjoyed it. But I don't feel the need to keep mindlessly drinking just because it's there.

The same shift is also happening for me with food but a little more gradually. I am trying to really think about every little thing that I put into my mouth and how it will affect me later. Again, this is a major shift for me. Or at least a shift from my recent approach to food. And I know that it has happened because of my decision to start on this path of yoga.


Today's Weight: 216.5


Today's Food Choices:
20 oz cafe mocha w/ soy milk
bran muffin
(9 am - The Patisserie)
tofu & veggie summer rolls w/ peanut sauce
tossed green salad w/ vinaigrette dressing
(2 pm - Baile)
6 pack of Oreo cookies
(5:30 pm - snack from the vending machine @ KCC)
1 glass really good Riesling
2 bites garlic rice from Little Village
(9 pm - home)